Chasing Fate:
by DearReyy
Summary: Christina and Theodore, both lived a life that wasn't truly theirs.They just met.But something brings them together,and they don't like it.The truth will be revealed but what they find isn't pretty.Would the truth brng them closer or break them apart.
1. Chapter 1

**The dream**

Death was something I never thought about. Until now that is. I always thought that you had your turn in the list, and I guess mine was ready to get a tick right next to my name. Christina Garcia. I was surrounded by a forest, full of tall trees that would have been usually green that reminds you of the nature and the other creatures that surrounds us but now it only looked dark and depressing like they were all moving inwards. I suddenly felt honored, a demon, no my own demon was standing right across me smiling darkly. He brought death as a gift I guess, a dark gift. I tried to make out what he was but I had no luck. I could only see his mouth, his whole body and half of his face from above his nose were covered. He was dressed in black only the color of whiteness from his teeth added color to his dark face. He wore a hooded cape that fell to his ankles. Then I realized he was smiling, no he was grinning now! His dark, evil smile scared me and the thought of him scaring me amused him and he started laughing. It wasn't a genuine laugh, it was full of amusement, he was like a villain in a movie and laughing because his plan worked and now he had his prey helpless, hopeless and...Alone and around his fingers like a puppet! I didn't realize he was walking towards me until he stopped laughing. He now only had a cold, expressionless face just glaring at me like a predator enjoying his hunting trip. When he was only a foot away from me now, there was a sudden blow of bright light like a white light explosion right behind the demon. The demon was walking away from me, staring into my eyes giving me the promise that he will be back. When he reached his old position he glanced to the direction of the light and ran the opposite way. I stared, open mouthed to where he just ran off to. He was out of sight before I even had time to blink. Suddenly my head jerked up towards the direction of the light, and a figure that was just a shadow, was walking towards me. I didn't feel any threat coming from the stranger. I only felt gratitude to him for saving my life. He was getting closer now, and suddenly I felt weak and exhausted from the death experience. I fell to my knees, tears wetting my cheeks and I shut my eyes only listening to the footsteps of the stranger...my hero. I opened my eyes slowly when there was nothing but silence and all I could see was his dark black shoes. He stood just like an angel, saving, doing good deeds, bringing light and happiness to the darkness and fear that surrounded me as he put his arms around me when he leveled down to his knees. I could only look into his eyes. Like it was his only feature, like I could only read the truth from his eyes. His dark black eyes melted into my soul, his gaze was like a killer, a hunter but was also protective and gave security and his touch...oh his touch, it felt like a warm blanket over my shviring, cold shoulders that made me feel of nothing but peace. Then he abruptly kissed me. His lips were soft and smooth and it was something I never experienced. Like he felt my fear and heard my thoughts that he felt the need to comfort me to assure me everything will be fine. But his kiss was intense, frightening felt like fire bursting through my mouth straight down to my heart. Like someone just poured hot lava down my throat. It wasn't unpleasant but I didn't get the promise I needed. Instead I felt his fear, his mind and his...love to...me! Then suddenly I felt the urge to look at his face, the need to know him _more._ But when I did, I was in my dark room filled with the grey shadows of the trees that came through the window; there was no one to be seen. I was breathing heavily like I just ran a marathon and I was thankful it was a dream. I felt...disappointed and wanted to dream of the faceless boy but I was still afraid if the demons cold stare and his crazy laughter will echo the dream, but when I drifted off to sleep I slept soundlessly.


	2. Chapter 2

_Distractions_

It was a Monday morning with the sun in the sky filled with blue-gray clouds that reminded me of winter when we were in July and only a week after would be summer holidays. I opened my dark lilac purple curtain that was also covered with butterflies. I opened them wide for a better see at the sky and the fresh air I breathed when I opened the window just a crack. The sun was in the sky but the air was chilly. I sighed and listened intently for any noise around the house. Silence. I guess mom and my irritating, know-it-all step dad Paul didn't wake up. I bet they will wake up in the afternoon and have breakfast as lunch. Their usual daily scheme that made me wants to just scream at them with all the rage and hate that I was filled with. I wish I was with dad. I wish they were like same old days, still married and mom would wake up in the morning making waffles and giving me a kiss while I walked out the house with a smile and joy. I sighed and walked toward my closet to pick some clothes for school.

At least my school didn't have those lame, uncool school uniforms that just sucked! I looked at my pile of clothes and picked out my favorite black jeans and a new black t-shirt that was unto my thighs. I would wear some egg-boots and my new black leather jacket that had a zip horizontally formed at the front. I picked a pink boxes and a pink bra and went straight to the bathroom for a shower. I took off my teddy bear pajamas and threw them on the floor. I opened the tap for warmer water and washed my body with the raspberry shower gel. I got off the shower feeling fresh and clean and looked at myself in the mirror. I brushed my brunette hair that was up to my elbow and dead straight that reminded too much of my mom and my cheekbones that was filled with color. I washed my face with soap and looked intensively to remember my father's eyes. It was just like dads. Hazel colored but changes color to a darker tone when I wear dark clothing but when I wear something like green, they seem lighter. I started to brush my teeth with my orange toothbrush and my minty toothpaste that gave me a fresh minty breath. My lips were in a straight line and my teeth white and straight in perfect sequence. I had to wear braces for them to look like these! I smiled at the memory. I suddenly realized I might be late for school and I changed into my clothes quickly. I quickly picked up some white socks before I forgot to wear them. And then I picked up my dark purple leather side bag that was filled with my planner, school stationary, and my glasses that I wear times to time. I also picked my blackberry from my bedside desk and went downstairs. I quickly checked the time and it showed 8:05. I wasn't that late. I still had 10 minutes left to meet up with my friends at the corner of the street where my school was located. I made myself a cheese and tomato sandwich with white toast bread and drank some milk. I ate my two sandwiches and washed my dirty dishes. I picked up my school homework that I left last night on top of the shoe closet so that I didn't forget them and don't have to have detention like last week! I wore my boots and pulled my leather jacket on and checked my self for the last time before I left the house. I looked like a rock chic with curvy thighs and a slim tummy. I smiled and walked out the house after I got my keys. I locked the door firmly and took in a big, deep breath before I began to walk down the street.

I was walking toward the Leensheer Street, where every morning for the past 4 years where I meet up with my best friends Ashley and Damien. I was walking my shoulders high and head looking straight ahead. I was finally at the corner where I had to wait few minutes for Ashley and Damien to jog to my side laughing and full of joy. After few minutes later they were walking fast towards me, both smiling. Ashley with her dark brown curly hair to shoulder length, her light brown eyes sparkling with excitement. I had a silent laugh in my head. She always wore make-up. She would never go outside without make-up, she would rather die she would say! This was hysterical. Today she had turquoise eye shadow on with light black eyeliner. Her face was round and she always applied pink blusher to bring out her cheekbones she always said. She wore a light pink lip gloss that was a typical Ashley. I looked at her clothes and admired her. She wore a turquoise colored t-shirt with dark blue denim jeans. She had black shoes and a black coat that gave her a figure. She always knew how to dress and dress-up. On the other side of her was Damien. His usual blonde ruffled hair that was messed up into a cute style that made him looks young and handsome and has bright blue eyes shining and smiling. If he smiled, you just had to smile back. He had dark blue jeans on with his white t-shirt and his black leather jacket, that made him look like a motorbike driver! How cute. He had white trainers that would probably be grey and dirty after school because of course he plays in the schools soccer team. They reached me at last and we hugged each other and smiled.

"Good, morning' Christina" Ash said, while she kissed my cheek. "You are looking lovely today. Who picked that leather jacket for you? Its sooo you" She laughed and I had to roll my eyes.

"Hey, Ash. Oh, yeah, this jacket is cute isn't it. Some Chanel obsessed friend of mine, who come to know what fashion is and the latest fashion trends picked it up for me! Well, she looks gorgeous herself if I must say" I said with a grin on my face. She gave a little curtsy. She made me buy it when we went to shopping last weekend.

"Hello. My name is Damien and I am your best friend. Remember?" He said while I gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Your friend Ash over here hasn't shut up about my outfit all the way over here. I don't need to be forgotten I'm a boy when I'm around you too, Christina" he laughed and blew a kiss to Ash who was walking beside me. Damien threw his hand over my shoulder and said "Me and you suit today, Christina. Damn, you look hot! It's funny teasing Ash but she does have a good taste in clothes" He hugged me tighter and winked at Ash. She walked over to his right, and he threw his other arm around her neck.

"Thanks Dami. I do find you cute today. Anyways we have media today. I have it with that fashion senseless, Mrs Lovegood. Gosh, wish she would let me help her! I bet Gok Wan can't even help her" she said seriously while me and Dami laughed and she gave us her whatever look.

"I don't care about the way she dresses. I only care because she can teach." I said while Dami nodded in agreement and Ash shook her head. She always acted she didn't care about school but she always had good grades. Typical Ashley Goodman.

"Yeah! She's not boring and I learn in her lessons. I have her for English. Even though I hate Shakespeare, she makes it sound interesting. She's cool" Dami said after he got distracted by some girls in mini skirts. He was staring at them with adoration.

"Dami, you're disgusting. You shouldn't check other girls out when you're with a GIRL!" she said while she mumbled about Damien and him being a jerk.

"Come on. Give me a break. Christina, wont you help me?" he asked eagerly for my agreement but I had to agree with Ash. But I kept my thoughts to myself and held up my hands that meant don't-get-me-involved. He sighed and apologized. But he wasn't upset, it was the opposite, he actually found this amusing.

We were at the school gates when Dami caught up with Coach Rathbone and waved a hand to tell us to go and that he'll catch up. Ash was talking about what she watched in TV last night. You guessed right. Fashion! I didn't mind her talking about it even though I didn't understand a thing she said. It was just her usual self. She was serious and half joking but she never would change for anyone and I wouldn't want her to change. We were at her locker when she stuffed all her books in and looked at herself in the mirror that she glued inside secretly when you weren't clearly allowed by the laws of Locksman High School. Typical Ash breaking the rules. I rolled my eyes and just smiled.

"Looks like you're going to take your time. I'll see you in class. Okay?" I asked and when I was waiting for an answer she just nodded and started putting her lips gloss on.

"Don't be late!" She encountered when I walked away a few steps later." You don't be late" I said sarcastically and she just rolled her eyes and grinned. I was walking to my locker that was with the other grey lockers that surrounded everywhere. Mine was further down from my form class. I was usually unlucky so it didn't surprise me when I got it. Mine wasn't like Damien's which was filled with football stickers or Ashley's with pictures of clothes and pink and mirrors. Mine was plain. I just had my books and class work and notes inside. I stuffed all my homework inside my locker. I wouldn't need them until fourth period. I only took my English book, a copy of Romeo and Juliet, my English essay that I needed to stable together as soon as possible. After I got everything I wanted I locked my locker and started walking toward G60. My form class. I was looking down while I was walking and I didn't see him come out the classroom when I arrived and I crashed into him.

Everything in my arms fell to the floor and I groaned and started bending to clean the mess on the floor that I created because of course, I was unobservant and distracted and embarrassingly clumsy! I apologized and apologized. I still didn't look at him when he gave me my English book while I was picking my English essay up off the floor. He too, was saying sorry and still helping me. I just thanked for his kindness and I said sorry for the last time before I walked inside the classroom. Nearly everyone was here. They were all talking and gossiping and talking what their plan is for summer holidays. Damien and Ashley were seated at the back of the room that constantly changed. I said hello to everyone while I made my way towards them being careful not to do something clumsy again. Everyone saw that and people looked at me with pity. And I hated that!

"Geez, Christina. Can you be clumsier?" Damien said while I gave a shy smile, feeling my cheeks fill with color. He laughed and squeezed my cheeks. "That was rude though, you didn't even look at the boy." He teased me with full enthusiasm.

"I was too embarrassed. I was making it worse by babbling about how clumsy I was." I said and gave a nervous laugh.

"He was H-O-T. He looked so handsome I envied to be in your place. To touch his hand by accident and then have eye contact..." Ash said suddenly and she drifted off to day dreaming when me and Dami exchanged looks and he made a 'gone crazy' sign. We started laughing and Ash suddenly cut off her day dreaming and put herself together.

Wonder who he was? He dazzled Ash, so he really must be good-looking. Hardly anyone has approval of Ash in the H-O-T department. Wonder what he looked like? Wish I looked at him. Well at least I know he was kind and generous. Anyways, Ash would show me later who this guy was and I would apologize to him again. But he wasn't one of my concerns. I was still distracted by the dream. It had terrified me but I also wanted to see it again. To look at the angel who saved me. To look at the angel who loved me! Wonder if the dream has a meaning. My dreams usually come true and they freakishly feel like seeing the future. But this seemed impossible. An angel, demon. They didn't have faces. Or did they? I don't think so. I checked the time on the wall across from where I sat that stood right above the big black board that was filled with graffiti and writings. I had 10 minutes left. It was 8:30 and at 8:40 would be registration then English, then... I checked my planner and it was biology, religious studies, media and then sociology. Not a bad day. I usually like Mondays because of media and English. Ash is in my media class and Dami is in my biology and sociology class. In biology Dami sits two tables down from me while I sat at the back of the class without a partner. I usually did triples with Dami's group in experiments and group work. And in sociology the boy who was supposed to be my partner was never present and again I was alone. I didn't mind the back and sat without a partner. I quite liked it. However in media I sat next to Ash but she was serious in media, because she loved that subject. And of course she was also showing off her intelligence to William Johnson which she also approved of being good-looking. There seriously was something hysterical about her. I smiled. I checked the clock again and it showed I had 7 minutes. So I put my head on the desk and closed my eyes.

I could hear Damien and Ashley in the front seats talking about the summer holidays. I didn't pay attention because we would have the same conversation after school. They sat at the 3rd seats in the second row that had a total of 4 tables. The classroom was strangely too noisy today. People talking, laughing running around I guessed they were trying to make everyday count. Of course they might not see each other for 3 months but they weren't saying goodbye for a final time. I began to analyze my classroom. It had 3 rows that equals to 12 seats that would give space to 28 students. We had 26. The classroom had 2 double windows to my left side that looked the view of the school football field. The walls were painted plain white with light brown wooden floor. It was like this, never changing, for the last 4 years. I was finished looking over my classroom so that it would be craved into my head. I would miss school. I would miss my teachers. I would miss the fun and company that I get at school. I was relieved when the bell finally rang and everyone moved to their original seats.

Mrs Richardson walked gracefully into the classroom with a plain black skirt up to her knees and a white fluffy blouse. Her blonde hair was tied back into a bun. She walked to her seat with black heels clicking on the hard floor and a smile on her face.

'Good Morning, kids. I hope you enjoyed your weekend and had a lot of fun like me. Anyways, today after I take the register, I am going to invite a new student to our classroom. You might have seen him going around the school. Okay!" she said while going over the pile of books that was on her table like a big whole mess. She opened her own planner (teachers do have planners too) and got out her black pen form her briefcase. I was staring out the window while she read the register and I heard the responses back from the students. I heard Mrs Richardson calling 'Ashley Goodman' and a response of "Present" from Ash in her posh and kind voice. She then carried on calling out more names, and called mine at last after Kelly Jackman. I gave a plain, low "Here, Mrs". I was still watching the window while Mrs Richardson called Damien White and received laughter from the whole class when he replied "What's up, Mrs. You're topping the hot list today!" Mrs Richardson also laughed and finally closed the register. I didn't. I had a bad feeling today. Might have been because of the dream but I doubted that.

"Now, in a minute or two the new student will come and I want you to be polite and welcoming as always. Okay? You can talk quietly whilst the new kid-" Mrs Richardson paused while there was a knock on the class door. I guessed the new kid would be like the same as other students with huge backpacks on their slouchy backs, heads bowed down, really quite and walked alone around the school because they were shy to make friends. But my guess was wrong as always. He opened the door and walked to the front of the classroom. He had no bags on his back instead he had all his books in his right arm. His shoulders were held high and he had a confident smile stuck to his face. He wore black leather camping boots that came up to his ankles that was accompanied with black trousers and a black t-shirt that was short sleeved. He had his black leather jacket hung over his left shoulder. He was all dressed in black; if I saw him in the street I would think he might be a shadow. I finally looked at his face. His face was impossibly handsome. He had scruffy black hair that covered his left eye and his lips were turned up from the sides that gave his cheekbones a little lift. Then I looked at his...eyes. His black marble eyes. I felt a sudden shiver crawling down my spine. His eyes gave you the thought that he was dangerous. Maybe he was. But his height, the way he held himself upright and his confidence was really familiar to me, it felt like I saw this person before. And all of a sudden the understanding of him familiar to me took all the bad thoughts about him away. He was incredibly gorgeous and he looked like a model. Maybe he did modeling as a part time job. He would have girls chasing him, no doubt. And I had a sudden feeling that Ash would be one of them. I glanced at her direction and she was staring at him like the other girls. At, last Mrs Richardson broke the silence with a little cough when she saw all the girls.

"Okay. Um...this is Theodore Esmeraldo. He just moved here. And I will pick one of you to escort him around the school today and show him the classrooms and the resources." she started scanning the faces and she finally landed her finger on Ash. She jumped up on her seat and started waving at the new boy. He just gave her a genuine smile and waved back. Mrs Richardson started talking again after she rolled her eyes at Ash. The boy was incredibly beautiful, he was tall and he was muscular. He still had that dazzling smile on his face, that smile that made my heart skip a beat. I continued to look out the window but not for long...

"There are only 2 spaces. So, Theodore pick!" What? It was me or it was Daniel Johnson who had his legs over the seat. No! He can't sit here. But it was too late he was walking straight towards me. His dark eyes melting into mine. I picked all my books that was scrambled over the desk and gave him his space. He put his books on the desk and sat next to me. I sifted my weight so that our arms weren't close and wasn't touching. I sat in silence and just stared straight. I tried to keep my breathing in control, the way I postured myself that he wouldn't understand that I didn't like him. This boy next to me was going to be with us for the whole day, and I got bad vibes out of him. He looked dangerous and his stares scared me. But was I wrong?

"Hello. My name is Theodore Esmaraldo. Pleasure to meet you!" he said suddenly. I felt guilty for judging and making bad assumptions about his character when now he spoke kindly and in a velvet voice that took my breath away. It was musical; it was like he was singing. "You must be?" he asked.

"Hi. My name is Christina Garcia. Nice to meet you, too" I said while I played with my fingers. I did that when I was nervous. But why was I nervous? And why did I talk like I was dazzled by him? I didn't even want to be near him. His dark marble eyes gave me shivers and it frightened my soul. Like he was something that brought trouble. No. He was trouble. "Ashley Goodman is the girl who will escort you around the school. I will probably be with you most the time because she's my best friend. And, um, anyways what are you scheduling for today?" I asked while he glanced at Ash for just a second and smiled back at me. He looked surprised at my question. Or maybe I was too wrong?

"I have English, Biology, Geography, Food and Sociology. Pretty good, I think for a Monday!" he said while he laughed but I just looked at him opened mouthed. He was joking right! It can't be? 3 lessons with him? NO WAY! He realized my gasp and stopped laughing.

"What?" I demanded. It sounded rude, it almost sounded angry.

"I have English, Biology, Geography, Food and Sociology today. Why? Is something wrong?" he asked confused but his eyes told another story. He didn't look surprised or confused, he sounded like it, he looked like he didn't need an answer just a guarantee. I must be going mad!

"No, no. Nothings wrong. I'm sorry I sounded rude. Its just you have 3 lessons with me it seems. English, Biology and Sociology. I promise you, you will like them." I said with a genuine smile. I started to find him okay. But still a part of me wanted to run." Anyways if you need help Ash and I would be glad to help. Won't we Ash?" I asked at her where she turned abruptly and gave her apparently sexy smile. I was sure as I know my name she was eavesdropping.

"Sure. With anything. If you want notes I will be glad to give them to you!" she said and turned to talk to Damien who was clearly annoyed at the boy for getting all the attention from the girls. Usually girls drool over him.

"Thanks" he said dryly. He looked at me like he wanted to ask something. Then he looked like he couldn't keep quite any longer and talked.

"I was wondering what your eye color was? Its exordinarily beautiful. Especially when the sun shines in your eyes!" he asked and looked down. He looked embarrassed. I blushed, feeling my cheeks filling with color. He finally met my gaze and smiled.

"Thank you. They're actually hazel. Like my dads." I said with a sigh. He heard my concern and looked confused. His brows shot inward making him look like he was concentrating on something.

"You okay?" he asked with pure curiosity. "I'm sorry if I said something wrong." he said while he tried to meet my gaze.

"No you didn't say anything wrong. It's just me. Um, anyways. Thank you once again." I said and started looking out the window. Looking at the gray-blue sky, the suns shining through them like a peak of light. It looked like a painting. Then someone just shook my hand and when turned it was Damien.

"You okay, Christina? Did _he _say or do anything to you?" he asked in a low voice when he saw my sad eyes. He knew me too well to know there really was something wrong but it wasn't about the new boy.

"No, no Dami. I'm fine. He's actually really kind. It's something else. I'll talk to you later." I whispered back and forced a smile. He wanted to know what or more but he just nodded and added something quite surprising.

"He's the boy that you bumped to in the front of the classroom. The one you ignored." he said with a chuckle and quickly turned to talk to the boys in the front seats. What? It was him. Wow. I shouldn't have been so judgmental. I should have given him a chance to show himself. Hmmm. Wonder why he didn't mention it. Curiosity filled me up. I suddenly realized I wanted to know it so badly.

"Theodore?" I said. He tore his gaze from the clock and met my eyes. "Was it you that I bumped into at the front of the classroom." I said. Feeling the truth before he even admitted it.

"Yes. It was me. I am really sorry. I was a little distracted." he said. He looked down and then looked back up again." You didn't get hurt did you?" he asked while he looked at me up and down. He seemed like he already knew the answer but he just wanted me to say it. I smiled. He was nothing like I expected. I thought he would be like someone who is too confident and is rude to others to show his power and control. But here, Theodore was a different person. He was something I never thought it would be him. Different emotions filled me. And suddenly I felt the urge to show him how I felt.

"Of course you didn't. I'm fine. But are you? I was totally distracted too. I was too mean and rude I didn't even look at you even though you helped me. OMG, I'm really sorry." I said getting out of breath. If I only knew it was him, if only I wasn't too rude and mean. He nodded; smiled back and I realized something. His eyes weren't like a black marble anymore. When I first looked into those eyes I only saw coldness, only darkness and I only felt frightened. But now, his eyes took another angle to his character. He now looked happy, he looked vulnerable, his eyes were distant and I felt...warmth and comfort. I quickly turned away. What was happening to me? I was feeling things I shouldn't be! I should be just thinking about my next lesson, my homework but now I was thinking to skip lessons and get to know him more. I knew there was more that it meets the eye with him. I felt like I was saying facts, like it was true. But I didn't know! Would I want to? Would I want to look at those eyes and see the real face of this person who goes by the name Theodore Esmaraldo. The bell broke my silent conversation and I started packing my books and pulled my bag over my shoulder, and started making my way to English. I waited for Ash and Dami at the door for them to catch up but they were taking their time and showing the places to Theodore. He was quite calm, even though he looked like a person who likes to talk. No. I wouldn't make assumptions anymore. I would just wait and see.

In English Ms Barrymore was wearing cream colored trousers with white blouse and a black suit. Her brunette hair was put in a pony tail that made her look young even though she was 30 something. She wanted us to plan our essays on Romeo & Juliet. We were given big A3 paper that we had to write what we will include in the essay. Wasn't too hard. Romeo & Juliet was never too hard. A love story, a story that was made up of strong and real life related characters. War. Love. Death. But the difference in Romeo & Juliet and fairytales is that this love story doesn't have a happy ending. Just like real life. I was finished 15 minutes before the end of the lesson and I was just staring out the window, the hair on my neck started to rise, like every time I thought someone was staring. I looked around and caught Theodore who was 2 seats behind, was watching me. I smiled at him but he looked like he was concentrating on something, like he was trying to work out something, like if it was rocket science. I turned around feeling tired and wanting to go home right now. I had a very bad feeling from the morning and I feel like I am going to be sick. I sifted in my chair and looked at the clock again. Anxious. Waiting for the bell to go any minute and I can go and wash my face and eat!

But then I felt the hair on my neck rise again. It was like a magnet, someone calling me and me instantly turning around, like it's pulling me. When I turned around I wasn't surprised it was Theodore Esmaraldo who was concentrating on me, like he couldn't figure out what kind of creature I was. He felt me looking back at him and he quickly bowed his head, and started playing with his hands. He was nervous of something. Maybe me still staring at him? I guessed it was. I looked away and back at the clock. I wanted to go outside and breathe the cold fresh air. I wanted to feel air filling my lungs. I wanted to escape this room. It was like it was moving towards me by the every minute. The bell caught me in mid-thought giving me a little jump in my chair; without wasting any time I started packing quickly. I turned to see Ash and Damien talking with Theodore. Ash of course was flirting but Damien was just looking at the boy. There was something wrong with Damien, the way he looked at him, the way he talked about him. There was something wrong. I would talk to him. Yes, I would. Something gripped my arm and I gasped. Ash was holding my wrist and pulling me after her. I yanked my hand off her grip and followed her. I was behind Damien, Ash and...Theodore and we were walking toward the dining hall. Not walking, running you could say. People were coming out of every side of the corridor while we were quickly pacing toward the big wooden doors. Damien held the door for me, and I was inside the room that if you looked up to the ceiling you would get dizzy and wide enough for all the school to fit in. I walked to the line full of different aged students all squashed together into a straight line by the instructions of the teachers. Suddenly my appetite was gone and I wanted to sit down. I walked out of the line and took a seat near the window benches that looked at the tennis court. I waited at least for 5 minutes before I was nearly knocked out of my seat when Damien tried to push me aside to get a space next to me.

"Hey! You know there's the cousin of Pardon. EXECUSE ME!" I ignored his laughter while he game me a kiss on the cheek. "Fine. I forgive you." I said with a smile that came up even if I didn't feel like it.

"Sorry, but you were really distant. What were you thinking?" he asked while he opened his chikhen tikka sandwich and drank a gulp of pure orange juice. "Nothing. I was just day dreaming I guess. Enough about me, what about you Theodore? Liking Locksman High?" I asked with a polite smile that stuck to my face like glue. This must have surprised him because he stopped drinking his red drink that he carried around with him and looked at me with wide eyes. I raised one of my eyebrows to show I was waiting for an answer. He recomposed himself and answered in a calm voice.

"Thank you for asking. And for the answer, I think, I will pass. Don't you think that it's too early when I just started school 2 hours ago." he added with a little laugher. It sounded like he was joking but I could feel and see the irritation and the intensity in his dark black eyes. Everyone was laughing now, except me. Was I going crazy? No. It can't be. There was something off...odd about him. The way he walked around like he knew the whole school off by heart; sometimes he was too fast, too graceful. I MUST be going mad! Why did he bother me so much? Forget him, . He's just an ordinary boy, new at Locksman High and it's in you to help others. Deal with it. Be a nice kitty! That's what Damien would have said if he heard what ruthless things I was thinking.

"True." was all I said. I didn't want to talk. If I did, everything I ever thought about Theodore Esmaraldo, I would blurt them all out! It wasn't easy, especially when I looked at his eyes and saw the lies that hid beneath it, the dark secrets that lurked. I stared at him for a moment, trying to _see_, trying to clear the confusion in the air. Nothing. To admit it, he looked normal, he looked dangerous but in the morning he was kind, sweet and generous. I was mad! I must be. This boy didn't even do anything to me and here I am thinking he could, he might and he...will. I must be still in the influence of the dream. The fear of someone strange, being able to hurt me. This was stupid I finally decided. He is nothing to you. Just D-E-A-L with it! For God sake!

I didn't realize they were all laughing and joking around with each other. Few minutes ago they were quite, or at least that's what I remember, and now they were acting so strange especially Ashley and Damien. Theodore was acting like he has known them for years. I must be paranoid. I didn't even feel good. I had a really bad headache, and I sometimes felt a sudden piercing, pain in my heart, like someone poking it with a pencil. I suddenly felt nauseated and dizzy. My sight blurred and I suddenly didn't know where I was. I shut my eyes and covering them with my hand. I realized they were trembling now, I felt a hand on my left shoulder. I tried to open them, but with all the power in me, finally, in the third try I finally opened them and tears dwelled down my cheeks. I felt the hand on my shoulder tighten, and then someone was shaking me. Shaking me hard with its hard, strong hand, a grip like steel. It would have to be a boy. Damien? I turned my face around and found Damien's anxious, helpless face. His ruffled hair looked golden when the sun shined, causing golden streaks. Suddenly his eyes were full of tears, taking my breath away. Those blue eyes seemed like the ocean, clear to me but mysterious to outsiders. I knew him from the age of 5 and, no one except me and Ashley knew him better, better than he knew himself. I never saw him so, helpless, and weak before. I never saw him cry in 10 years, never saw him in pain. When he was hurt, he was the best person I knew that was capable of covering his feelings, capable of never giving anything away, always brave, honest and unselfish. He was like a brother I never had, like someone who had a special connection with me, even though not genetically. I heard the same in his voice but he was putting himself together now.

"You're scaring us? What is wrong? Can you talk? Can you understand me? Nod if you can?" he said first with an anxious, worried and trembling voice that then became controlling, intense and strong. He kept me in place and I nodded. But only once because my head ached so badly that I thought they might have exploded!

"I'm fine. I will be fine. Just let me breath! Give me some space, would you". I sounded normal, like I wasn't in pain but I was just pissed at the people around me. My voice sounded determined, strong, and brave. I realized I must have learnt how to control and wrap up my emotions from Damien. I would tell him that later, I would also thank him. I also realized that I didn't want to be weak; I didn't want to be seen weak! I was strong, I was full aware of my surrounding now. People crowding more and more into a circle around the table. They all seemed to have faces full of concern and worry. I never doubted the children at this school, their true selves were how they would be seen from an outsider, how they were just nothing but filled with pure emotions and I was sure each one of them had a reserved flight ticket to heaven someday. I started turning my head around, searching the faces, and found someone who I surely was familiar with. Ashley Goodman. My best friend and my sibling (not genetically, but you get the gist). She was held up by two girls her face pale and full of emotions. Confusion, fear, worry, pain and loss. She stood up now in her own two feet, walking toward me with trembling hands and she was quite unbalanced and she nearly tripped. She sat opposite me, her eyes searching mine; she put her hand on top of mine, her eyes never leaving mine. She finely understood the truth in my words and spoke loud and clear.

"Oh right. The shows over people. Don't make it worse by standing here, she's right, give her some space. And somebody for gods sake, get the nurse! NOW" she demanded with her voice full of determination and self control. She was always too late to hide her feelings but now she was back on track! The crowd suddenly started to murmur 'hope you get well', 'hope you feel better', 'you'll be fine', 'look she's all right!', and so and so on. I smiled at the crowd and nodded. It didn't hurt as much as before but I still felt like I didn't have a brain left, let have a head!

The nurse came rushing through the doors. Her white trainers pacing toward me, dressed in her usual white trousers; white t-shirt that made her wavy sandy hair and dark blue eyes stand out even more. When she arrived she had a calm expression on her heart-shaped face and her tanned skin. But the more closely she got, she could see alarm and worry in her eyes. She was disappointed of the nurse. She was supposed to give her comfort not pity! I can see she is afraid a little, Christina thought. After all it is her second day at work and she is dealing with a girl who has got no idea how or why she's in this state. But. I knew it from the morning, I had a strong feeling something bad was going to happen but I am not sure if this was it. There was a sinking feeling inside her, growing by the minute every time she thought of it. Stop and relax. Its probably nothing, except its one of your inaccurate guessing.

All the while she walked toward the nurses office, when Miss Smyth checking her blood pressure, her heart rate; the other medical procedures that she applied and when she was alone in the office while Mss Smyth went out, lying on the medical bed, she only thought of her room. The only place where she didn't had to hide her feelings, her unhappiness, and her fear. The only place that shouted out s real self. The walls she imagined. The wall was light baby pink color that didn't emphasize her purple butterfly curtains, her posters of Muse, of Kings of Leon, of Paramore, of Snow Patrol, of her favorite movie The Notebook. Her bed was angled close to the door with 2 desks, one on each side of her bed. The bed was opposite the window where every morning she would walk and stretch and take in the fresh air that will fill her lungs with pureness. She would look at the sky with desperation to fly to really feel the wind on her face. To really sink into nothingness and let the clouds float above and around her. She would then be looking at a picture on her bedside desk. A picture of a family, a tall broad shouldered man with white and grey hair and an oval shaped face with strong jaws and a scar right above his left eyebrow. He's hazel eyes smiling at the camera. He had a simple but neat black suit and a hand on a little girls shoulder. The girl had the same smile, the same eyes, the same clean facial features, the same excitement that glittered in the mans eyes and her little pink fluffy dress that was up to her knees; her light brown hair cut into a bob style. She was standing between the man and a woman. A woman with blood red lips and deep brown eyes and high cheekbones that was emphasized with pink blusher stared back at me. She wore a black skirt that gave her a curve and a white blouse and a simple black vest. She looked like a business woman, a professional that gave out the image of importance and power. She was the same height as the man but there wasn't much of a smile, only a forced one that she put on very well. She had silky straight black hair that was long. The little girl didn't look much like her except the eye shape, the cheekbones and the way they both positioned their hands on their hips. The picture was complete with the woman's hand on the other side of the little girls shoulder. A picture of a dream family. It was her mother and father and when she was 6 years old. It was her birthday and her father wanted to have a memory of the day with a photo taken, which became a traditional thing in her family since she was born. All the pictures were with her father, she said she didn't want it when they got divorced, she said it reminded of the memories too much. I didn't want to think about it. She didn't want to cry anymore, not to someone who is not worth it.

She couldn't understand what happened in the dining hall. She couldn't make sense of it. One minute she was feeling fine, the next she felt like someone threw a vase at her head making her feel dizzy and disoriented. Her eyelids felt heavy and her body felt numb. She was sitting down but she felt like everything was floating. The nurse said, everything looked fine. She told me to go home and get some rest. She neither had any clue of what happened to me, she thought everything was okay but nothing was okay. She resisted not to think and only wanted to talk to Ashley and Damien. They would have been rocked emotionally by this and I need a hug from them. I closed my eyes and started counting my breaths that at one thousand and thirty six that someone knocked on the office door. My eyes flew open and traced the door to see a figure. It was probably the nurse coming to inform me when to go home. But with all my heart beating fast my prayers were accepted.

Ashley and Damien walked straight through the door and ran to me. Even though my body sill hurt a bit, the hug wasn't unpleasant. We held each other for a while and I could sense their emotions. They felt relieved and happy. They trusted me when I said I was fine and that convinced them I would be fine. I felt Damien kiss my hair and Ashley kiss my forehead. This was like a family reunion. My mother and father protecting me, giving me their love; support. It felt like a long time before we let go of each other and when we did we all smiled and stared at each other in silence. But not for long and Ashley was the first one to break it.

"You're looking better. You should go home, sleep and eat! And I should add that its good you didn't eat because the sandwich sucked!" Ash said with laughter. Not the ones those are nervous that you don't know what to say, but the ones that came out naturally. I smiled at her reading her act. She wanted me to feel like nothing was wrong and everything was back to normal. And that's exactly how she made me feel.

"Yeah, I am feeling better too. And the nurse went to get me a note so I can go home. Shame you will be going to fourth period but I'm going to rest, rest and rest." I said adapting the atmosphere. I too, was relieved my voice didn't sound like how I felt. I sounded normal and healthy and strong, but I felt the opposite. I glanced at Damien who had a smile on his face that made my heart miss a beat. He was the one who would have been hurt the most. He must still feel pain after all these years.

"You're really lucky, to miss biology but not media. Because Mrs Clinton said we were going to film to a scenario and I got you in my team. It was hard work because everyone wanted a piece of a genius !" he dashed me one of his dashing smiles that would make girls faint for him, but for me it only made me feel warmer and forget my inner world. "You should know, it was really quite without you there. People wasn't laughing because you didn't make them laugh and both Mr Walliams and Mrs Clinton was desperate to have their star student back, but was happy the class was well behaved." he continued that made me feel untroubled and little touched. I didn't know many people missed me or even cared for me. Thank you.

"Yeah. I was harassed in art, by people asking me about you. They knew nothing was wrong but just wanted to show that they were sorry you were sick. They sent their best wishes for you to get well soon!" Ashley said. She looked the same in the morning but she now looked exhausted. This was the last touch to me that made me feel nothing like before but at peace. Damien talked about the fight that happened between Jack Smithers and Kevin Matthews in media and Ashley was talking about her new project in art.

The nurse entered the room after a while. She waved the paper in the air and smiled.

"All right, you're ready to go! You have 2 days off on school and you're friends will get you you're schoolwork home." she said while glancing at Damien and Ashley. She continued to say "you should get some sleep and eat energy sourced foods. I want you to drink lots of water and wear warm clothes. If you cannot go home by yourself I will take you home, but if your parents can come in we should give them a call. Should I call them?" she asked while walking to her small desk full of paperwork and medical units.

"No they will not be at home. I can go home by myself; it's just around this street anyways. I feel better and balanced, I can make it." I tried to say with a voice full of determination and truth.

"Okay. When you go home just do what I told you. Your friends can walk you to the reception and then you can go home. Next time every morning you should eat fruit. And this is not just for you, but for your friends too." she said, glancing between me, to Ash to Dami. Then she looked back at me. She stood up and came to give me the note that was inside her pocket. She handed me the paper and put her hand in her pockets. She looked like a doctor rather than a nurse.

"Thank you, Miss Smyth. I appreciate all your help." I said while I got up. I could see that both Ash and Dami wanted to help but didn't, they didn't want to let me walk home by myself but gave me my own will. They knew I was okay but they were just paranoid. I gave a smile to both of them and they understood.

"That's okay. I'm sorry I don't know what happened in the dining hall but you're healthy as a horse. I believe it's only because of lack of sleep and a poor diet. You should take care of yourself more." she gave a gentle smile and walked back to her desk. I felt her worried watch while I walked out the office. I could feel this was my first but not last time I would be here.

I was determined to go home and sleep. The school would inform my mother and she would say nothing but ask me how it happened. She would then tell me that she is coming late and I should make myself some snacks. She wouldn't care; her voice will be cold as ice and in a hurry. She would shut the phone as quickly as she can with a quick goodbye. She was walking in the corridor with blue floor and white walls half covered by grey student lockers. She was walking in a slow pace that made her become breathless. New three undoubtedly truths now: she was tired and her body was weighing her down, she was starting to lose her self control and other would notice especially Ashley and Damien who were walking on each side of her and time to time giving her alarmed glances and lastly she was sure the incident in the dining hall was not connected with lack of sleep or diet. She knows understood this, even though her body was nothing but sleepwalking but her brain was working just fine. No wonder why the phrase 'mind over body' is so true. They were in the English/Media department and after a dozen of doors they would be in reception. Damien's destination was here and Ashley had to walk back down the corridor.

"Guys, you should go back to your classrooms. I'm fine, really. I can walk; it's even down this corridor. If I can't make it ill call the nurse so she can take me home. You guys shouldn't have been excused in the first place, missing all the class work isn't good for your grades." I said that made me sound like an adult, like a parent to be precise. Damien opened his mouth but closed it quickly. Ashley just stood there and then gave a slow but short nod.

"Okay. Damien lets go. She'll be fine and she'll call when she gets home. We'll go and see her after school." she said while looking around except me. I stared at her so that she can meet my gaze. When she did we moved to each others arms. She held me tight but comforting. We let go of each other when Damien coughed. She kissed me in my cheek and smiled. Damien on the other hand was sifting from foot to foot looking at his trainers. I held out my arms and he walked in. His hug wasn't like Ashley's, Damien just put his arms around my shoulder and put my head on his chest. He held me instead of me holding him.

"Everything's alright. We'll come and talk. Do you want anything?" he asked in a whisper. He was taller than me and bigger than me. When I pulled back my head, he reminded me of an older brother protecting his sister again. He gave his crooked smile that I loved, that gave me the feeling that life was sweet and charming like his smile, like him.

"No thank you, Dami. Don't worry about me I'll be fine. You heard what the nurse said I am healthy as a horse!" I gave a smile that reached up to my eyes, and ruffled his hair. "Just come and stop by after school, and that's all I want."

"Of course." now he was in control of his body, his actions, his emotions, the nurse lie must have convinced him a little. I moved out of his arms and waved a goodbye to both of them. I turned to walk down toward the reception when I still knew they were looking at me, alarmed and happy. Alarmed that something might happen on the way home or at home while I would be alone. Happy because they knew I was strong enough to cope with anything. For eleven years we've been through a lot together, those years since the age of 5 when we were together in sickness and happiness. I would give my life for them and without any doubt they would for me. I wanted to run back to them and tell them all my fears that was building up inside of me, the love that felt for them, I needed to confess I wasn't strong I was just like other kids: vulnerable and scared. I turned around but they were gone. There was nothing but me, no noise but dead silence and a journey back home that I didn't want to make alone.


	3. Chapter 3

_Unknown Feelings_

The corridor was still silent, only the sound my light footsteps. I was holding on to the grey lockers with one hand to get strength from them so I wouldn't fall down and faint. I had the same feeling when I was in the dining hall. I thought I was better but my mind was starting to realize it wasn't. It was either giving me a warning or was I just paranoid? It was like walking through a tunnel without any direction, any light, any feeling, but only the darkness that was creeping behind you. One part of my mind was telling me to stop and let someone take me home but the other was refusing to listen and that part was winning. My legs were aching even though I just walked for two or three minutes, my throat felt like it had a big lump inside, my breathing was low, hallow and uneven. I was few minutes away from the reception but I needed a rest. The exhaustion must be because of the tablets Miss Smyth gave me. I was so tired that I could just fall into sleep any minute. I was having a hard time standing up, like if someone was putting bricks on my back that was weighing me down. I couldn't make myself think or feel anymore and after few seconds I stopped. I couldn't take this pain anymore, the invisible concrete that was stuck to my feat, the feeling of water filling my lungs, I felt like I was suffocating. I was nearly at the reception but I couldn't make myself to go forward anymore.

I slowly sat on the cold laminent floor and put my head against the locker. I shut my eyes to get my breathing back to normal. Only a few minutes would be fine, no one should find me and if they do there will be a lot of mess. People will get more paranoid and I would have to go to the hospital. I shivered, feeling it in my spine, my mind back tracking to my purpose. I had to go home, quick and fast. I couldn't ask anyone to help me incase they insisted on taking me to the hospital. I couldn't move without no energy with the pain that was starting to feel like sharp knives piercing through my body. I was alone and desperate for company.

I felt a jolt of shock when the silence was broken. It was someone or something coming towards her, running. The closer the footsteps came to her, the slower the stranger got, it was walking now. Then there was silence again. She was afraid to open her eyes, she was afraid to see the demon in her dreams again. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to relax. But she knew better that this wouldn't work, she had to do something, quickly. Maybe I'm dreaming she thought. Maybe there is no one and I'm hallucinating. But that thought was out of her mind as quick as she heard the stranger's voice. It was soft as silk, as musical as if he was singing, as afraid as a prey. Didn't know who it was but she knew she would be surprised. She fought a battle inside herself, the battle between to give herself away or to run. She could use this stranger's help, he hasn't done anything yet and he doesn't seem to be thinking to do so, but she didn't know what or who to trust. Can she trust the stranger? She finally decided that she needed the help of someone that will take her home, because the point was that she was too weak and in pain. She started to open her eyes and stare at the black marble eyes.

"Christina?" Theodore Esmaraldo looked confused and shaken. There was no trace of his smooth, singing and comforting voice anymore, he sounded more nervous and worried. He was sitting in his knees, both hands in his lap, his dark black eyes looked like a predators than a boy that was going to help. She was not surprised at his appearance out of nowhere but at his beauty. Now close to him, now she was looking at him with speculation she could see the impossible beauty. He had perfect and angular facial features-high cheekbones, strong jaw line, straight nose and full lips. The first time she saw him she thought his hair was black but now it was messy and dark brown. His eyes were black but didn't look cold or hid hatred. It showed love, care and worry. He reminded her of the Greek god Adonis, where she read about the most complex cult figures in Greek Mythology. How strange, Christina thought. She never realized how attractive he was, how different he looked with that pale, slender but muscular body. He was like Prince Charming, here to save the princess. Bit her cheek to hold back the laughter that was building up in her throat.

"It's me Theodore Esmaraldo. Remember? I'm in your class, I just arrived today!" he asked getting worried and worried every time I didn't answer to him. He was frowning now, his brows meeting at his third eye. Christina put herself together and answered him.

"Of course Theodore, I remember you! I was just a little surprised to seeing you here that's all. I was a little tired and I wanted to rest, but there were no chairs so I sat on the floor." I answered his questions with a weak and a low voice, it almost sounded like a whisper. I could see the relief in his face, but he wasn't convinced I was fine. He still looked like he thought I might faint any second. But he didn't insist and I was thankful for it.

"Are you sure? Okay. Where were you going, you should be at the nurses office resting?" he asked, giving a quick glance around.

"I was on my way to the reception so I can give the note to them and go home. The nurse gave me two days off, and I apparently need to rest. I just felt really exhausted and couldn't go further." I gave a faint smile, my voice getting stronger and steadier. "What about you? What were you doing here?" I asked while trying to stand up. I felt a little unbalanced, so I put a hand to the locker to keep me standing up.

"Oh. I had geography and I wanted to go to the toilet but got lost. Then I was going round and round, and that's when I saw you sitting down. I thought something might have...happened so I came running to you. But then I saw you were breathing and I just tried to wake you up." he said and stood up. He looked nervous and started to play with his hands.

"Got lost? OMG, that's hilarious." I said and broke into laughter that echoed in the corridor. He too started laughing and he seemed a little relaxed. "You are lucky, kiddo. In my first day at this school, I went into wrong classes and then the teacher game me a buddy so that she could tell me where my classes were until I knew them off by heart." I said with a little giggle slipping through my lips.

"Ha, ha. I am starting to think I might be a better newcomer compared to you. Even though I have a buddy I am good at finding places. That's what geography is for right?" he said laughing that was like a cherry on top of a vanilla ice cream, it was like doing jumbee jump. The excitement, the thrill, the feeling of your heart popping out of your chest. Why I'm I feeling these feelings that I shouldn't? This illness is doing something to me, changing me completely to someone else. I suddenly felt self-conscious and nervously looked at my surroundings. It was empty as before, it was scarier than ever.

"Um...I better get going, before fourth period ends. I'll see you on Wednesday, okay." I started to walk off but he called me again.

"Christina? You don't know me, yet, but you should know I would like to think myself as gentleman. And gentleman's doesn't let girls who need help without company. You don't look good and if you decide to rest again on the street, what might come next isn't bright!" he said with full determination in his voice and he looked like he would argue to the end if he needed to.

"I don't know. I know I wouldn't rest in the roads and it's not that far away from here and you can't leave school!" I said pulling my shoulders high and looking straight at his eyes. "Thank you, but there is seriously no need."

"I am not asking for permission. I am just telling you." he said with a soft voice. He looked like he would have just taken me by my hand and dragged me. I tried to argue but he cut me of.

"No. You can't go home like this, weak and unbalanced. I will take you to your doorstep and then I promise I will go. I know you don't know me but please, you cannot be by yourself when you are sick and you don't know what is causing It." he said, putting his best arguments on the table." They would let me go if I say I would come back at lunch time. I am sure they would understand your situation." I didn't know what to do? I didn't want to go home alone, but to go with someone who I just barely know. Could I take the risk? I felt the battle losing again, every cell in my body surrender. I couldn't make myself say no, or shake my head.

"Okay, you win. But let me tell you something I might look like a sleepwalking corpse but trust me I will kick your ass if you do something!" I said with warning. I knew how to fight with others especially men. My father taught me from the early years of my life, how to fight He flew his head back and started to laugh. What is so funny? I waited patiently for him to stop laughing and after a few seconds he was talking with all the humor gone out of his voice.

"I have no doubts about that. You have been fighting all day it seems." he said reaching for my bag that was on the floor beneath my feet. He flew the side bag over his shoulder with one quick, graceful movement. He put a hand through his ruffled brown hair and looked around. "Come on. We have wasted a lot of time arguing about something you were never going to win. Can you walk? Do you want me to support you?" he said giving his hand when he saw me holding on to the lockers. I shook my head and he nodded.

"I can walk." I said and was grateful how my voice sounded: strong and protective. He said nothing more but smiled. I knew he would have argued that but he knew better that I would have won this one.

We started walking down the corridor in silence and he was walking next to me with a little gap. He kept glancing at me and I saw silent frowns. Tough Christina thought. We only agreed on him taking me home not him helping me stay in balance. We finally reached the reception where the receptionist Sarah glanced up to Theodore. She had red hair that looks like flames and the deep green eyes that looks like cats. Today she wore a white shirt with black trousers. I reached and sat on one of the chairs, while handing Theodore the note from the nurse. He gave me a little nod and a tint of smile. I couldn't hear him very well but I could pick up some of the words. Theodore was asking to be excused from school to take me home and the receptionist was asking if he had permission. Theorodore handed the paper and glanced at me. I couldn't see his face but his body looked like a statue, very still and perfect. The receptionist gave one dazed look at Theodore and glanced over his shoulder at me. The receptionist handed back the paper and nodded. Theodore thanked her and put the note in his jackets pocket.

"Okay everything is done here, we can go now."

We walked out the school gates freely. We didn't say a word to each other, but I sometimes looked at him and he knew I did. He had his both hands digged in his trousers pockets. He was looking at his shoes and only a few times he looked up. I didn't like the silence even if it meant safety. I wanted to ask him some questions, but I didn't know what.

"So um...where did you come from? I mean before you came to live here!" I asked starring dead straight because I didn't want to catch a lie in his eyes and that would mean me getting paranoid and scared. He looked up from his shoes and was staring at me. When I met his gaze he looked surprised and grateful for me to break the silence.

"Oh. I just arrived here a week ago from Alaska." he said looking ahead. He seemed like he had a few questions himself but was afraid to ask. He also seemed very distant when he answered questions about himself like he was remembering memories.

"You and your family?" I asked with curiosity that I didn't know where it came from. I wanted to speak like him when he asked a question: soft and understanding. But I sounded nosey to my own ears.

"Me, my sister and um...my stepmother" his voice sounded cold, scary when he said stepmother. He might hate her like every child hating their stepmom or stepdads, but this didn't seem like it. There was more to the story and dare if I asked.

"Oh. I live with my mother and my stepdad." I smiled. "My mother and my father divorced when I was 12 years old." I said simply.

"Where do you live? Down this road?" he asked when we turned the corner to Leensher Avenue.

"Yeah. Down the street to number 13. I told you it was close." I gave a teasing smile. I felt much better, awkward beside Theodore Esmaraldo that sometimes gives me the creeps and sometimes make my heart feel like it will pop out my chest but to have some company wasn't such a bad idea. He is like two people in one body. One side is dangerous, scary, cold and heartless but the other is kind, shy, nervous, good-looking, a gentleman. But the only similarity is that both sides are always concentrating so hard, thinking, searching. Wonders what his concentrating on? He looks like his searching for something all the time, reading, looking. He wasn't like the other boys at school; he didn't even act like them. If I get to know him, the feeling of him being danger might fade away.

We reached the house with the white brick walls and black door. Sweet home Christina thought. She was starting to feel tired again. She walked toward the house's doorstep. She was going to reach the door knob but then laughter stopped her.

"Forgetting something are we?" he said swinging my bag. I giggled. He handed me my bag and I unzipped it to retrieve my keys. I found my keys and entered it inside the hole. I opened the door a crack and turned around.

"Theodore I am so grateful to you. Thank you for accompanying me. I don't know what would have happened without you here. I feel much better." I said seeing his full lips turning up from the sides. He stood awkward with his hand in front of him.

"You're welcome Christina. I haven't done anything much, wish I could have been more of a help." he said his voice soft as silk but his face showed no emotion. He just stared at her starting to frown.

"Do not worry, Ashley and Damien will be here after school so I won't be alone. And you know what is funny, it's your first day and I am supposed to helping you but here we are you helping me." I said. His expression didn't change but he stopped frowning. He seemed to care about everyone too much even if he didn't know them very much. I was so confused about his character, he was hard to read, only his eyes told the truth but right now they were not much of a help.

"I guess. Okay then I'll see you on Wednesday Christina. Watch yourself; people will miss you seriously at school. You proved it in the dining hall." he said with a little wave and walked off.

"Theodore! Wait!" I called after him. When he stopped and turned he looked gob smacked. "You should know that my close friends call me Kris. And I wanted to say you can too." I said watching him. His expression changed from surprised to gratitude. "And I wouldn't mind more company after school if you don't have anything to do." shock ran through my body. I didn't know what made me say that but I only knew I wanted to. The thought of him in my house ran shivers down my back but it also made my heart beat really fast.

"Thank you very much Christina. I mean Kris." hearing him say my nickname made me feel like I was flying. I felt light and thought nothing. "I will come. I like to see you up and well. And if you feel dizzy or disoriented just put your head inside your knees. Trust me it will feel better. Take care." he walked off fast before I said goodbye.

"Goodbye" I whispered when he was gone. I watched him walk, his shoulders tight, his head held high. It suddenly reminded me of a knight walking off on an impossible mission. The wind blew me sharply knocking me off balance and I turned around to go inside the house. I locked the door behind and put my weight on the door feeling light and refreshed. But that feeling was dead and gone when the silence of the house hit me.

I went straight to my bedroom. Walking slowly, quietly up the wooden stairs every step making a sound, my breath echoing the hall. I opened the door and left it open to have a clear earshot at the door. I took of my bag, my jacket, and fell on the bed. I remembered I had to text Damien and Ashley to tell them I was at home. I got up and reached for my blackberry inside my bag. I searched Damien's name and started to write.

Damien, I'm at home. Don't worry about me I'll be fine. When you come if I don't answer the door call me because I might be sleeping. Love you Kris. xx

I then looked up for Ashley's name from my contacts and started typing.

Ashley, I'm at home right now. Do not worry about me and I'll be waiting to know everything that happened in media. Be careful, love you. Kris xx

I went back to my bed and laid down, staring at the ceiling. I resisted sleeping; I wanted to make sense of what happened today. The bizarre events like the strange feeling Theodore made me feel, the sickness I experienced in the dining hall, the unexpected appearance that Theodore made in the English corridor, when he brought me home safely. I wanted to go over it so I could understand but the exhaustion was making everything harder. My eyelids felt heavy, my body numb and I drifted off to unconsciousness.


	4. Chapter 4

_Silent Wispers_

"Are you alone in your dreams, or is he there?" a voice echoed suddenly in the pitch black forest. The voice had no significance or familiarity but the way the stranger said it was like he was pityful, full of hatred to the 'he' person. It wasn't a person or a spirit but a telepathic shouting. It sounded not too scary but also like a warning. The habitat was so dark that you would think its only a close cabinet, but the only light that shone some light was the bright, beuatiful moon in the twilight. Where I'm I? The similarity of the forest, darkness... I froze, forgetting how to breath, my eyes full alert,carefully analysing for any movement. Like a predator searching for its prey. This was the same forest in the other dream. I tried to feel things around me but it was nothing but space.

"Can you hear him?" the voice said again, but this time, the stranger sounded desperaly curious. Who are you? I mentally thought. No luck, because what covered was dead silece after it spoke. "Can you see him?" he asked again. He sounded like he was gettig impatient, getting annoyed. Who was this 'he'? Was he a threat? This cannot be a message of a coming danger, the dark forest was nothing but a dead habitat, another example of a human destruction. He is talking about someone close, someone who this voice knows, someone I must not trust! I felt a vibration in my left hand. I jerked my head around to find my hand empty. With shock and astonishment, the voice draw my attention back. What the voice said next was nothing I will ever forget, it was like a matter-of-fact, in a voice of patience but hatred.

"He will kill you, if you let him."

I woke up, breathing fast and my heart beating like a birds. Sweat tore down my face and my eyes were watery. My body felt limb and my hand was vibrating. I looked at it and it was my phone. I pressed answer and spoke.

"Hello?" I said not caring how bad I sounded: my voice broken, low like a whisper, deep and frightened.

"Kris? OMG, finally you answer. My ass is freaking freezing out here! Get down here, fast!" Ashley demanded over the phone. She didn't sound angry but she was pissed and maybe a tint of fear. I hung up and started getting out the bed. I walked downstairs like a corpse with a body but without a brain. I couldn't wake up, I tried so hard to hide my feelings but I couldn't. It was like building a wall but it keeps falling down: my defences were broken! My feet were cold as I walked down the laminent stairs, I felt dioriented and unalanced so I need the help of the walls. One hand on the wall, one hand on my forehead, I took a deep breath and reached for the door knob. I put on a fake smile, and a mask that failed through rtoday but this time it worked.

"Hi,guys. What's up!" I said in a cheerful way that surprised me. My voice sounded happy, energetic and amused. I didn't know how I was sounding like this when inside I was totally different. I had a hard time standing up and a hard time not dropping dead on the spot! I realised both Ashley and Damien were both staring at me. I stepped aside and they both almost ran inside. I stepped a little out the door way and took in a deep breath. The fresh, clean air filled my lungs, clearing the darkness that filled them. The feeling was gone, even though just for a few seconds, I had peace. I opened my eyes and looked up. The sky was clear of clouds, the sun setting in the west. The wind felt like a warm breeze on my soft taned skin. My eyes saw everything clearer, every angle sharp as a pencil. I could see it from a babys eyes that just opened to the worlds mysterious. Suddenly, the hair on the back of my neck stood up and I realised I was being watched. I slowly turned and stared back at the two people.

"Kris? What the hell is wrong with you? You look like a dead corpse!" Damien grasped. He was dead right about that one. Christina:zero and Damien and Ashley:one!

"Are you okay Kris? Whats wrong with the way you walk? You need any help?"Ashley pointed out the next truth that gave them another score. They were winning two to zero. "Were you crying? Your eyes are as big as my bum!" Ashley screamed and ran toward me. She gripped my arm and dragged me to my bedroom. My legs were aching and my ears were painful. Ashley was still talking but I wasn't listning to her. I couldn't hear her, anymore! I wanted to scream, but I couldn't find my voice. I wanted to run but my legs gave up. I wanted to cry but my tears were dry! Ashleys gripped tightened on my arm and I realised we stopped outside my door.

Until then did I look up to see her expression. Her mouth was open wide , her brown eyes frozen and widening every second. She seemed like a human statue. I followed her gaze and felt the biggest shock of my life. The room was like a trench in the second world war. My clothes all staggered on the floor, bedsheets torn into peaces, my lilac covers and duvet torn apart. There was feathers from the pillow, that looked like a bird explosion! But the biggest shock was the picture beside my bed. The one with me, my mom and dad. It was smashed and was lying on the floor. I felt fresh tears pouring down my eyes. I slowly walked inside the house, and moving closer to the frame. I slowly bent down, feeling the eyes on my back. I reached for the frame, removing the small srapnels away. I took the picture out of the frame and stood up straight.

"What happened here?"a wisper echoed mine. The room was nothing compared to a teenagers, not messy, not untidy but everything broken and into pieces. I slowly walked toward the window. The sky was dark grey and the clouds were slowly showing. The window was closed shut. Impossible for someone to brake in, impossible for a wind storm to do this mess. I didn't understand? When I got home it was tidy and neat, as I left this morning. When I woke up...i couldn't remember. Only the dream and the dark voice that spoke of a truthh way beyond understanding. Could I have done this? No way. I was sleeping all the time after I came home. How did this happen then? I felt a hand on my wrist, and turned around. Damien was starig at me with shock glittering in his eyes.

"What happened here,Kris?" he demanded wiith cold and heartless voice. He wanted the truth, but was the truth enough to convince him?

"I..I...don't know! It wasn't like this before!" I said with a wisper. I sounded afraid and surprised. I also sounded insane!

"You don't know, what happened here?" he asked raising his voice."Is your house , Christina Garcia!" he asked. He only used my full name when, he thought I wasn't being honest with him.

"Yes."

"Your bedroom? Right?"

"Yes"

"You and only your parents have key to the house?"

"Yes"

"It wasn't in this mess before you came, was it?"

"Yes" for the thousand time. YES!

"Did you do this, Kris?"

"NO!" I shouted to his face. There was an awkward silence in the room, and the only sound was our uneven breathings.

I looked at the picture in my hand. Whoever did this wanted something from me! Or my family. Someone who the voice in the dream was talking about. What should I say? The unusual dreams, the unexpected apperance of a boy who I get bad vibe from. The mess of the room, and my suspicions of who could be! But did I have suspicions? No. I didn't have a clue of what I was going to do, but only that it needed to be kept a secret. I looked at the room and walked toward the pile of clothes. I slowly folded them neathly and put them back into the wardrobe. I then went over to the bookshelf where the books where all staggered on the floor, and picked them each by one and stacked the to the shelf. Next was the ripped bedsheets. I put the duvet covers and the bedsheets into the dirty laundry basket that was beside the wardrobe, and picked up new ones from the drawer. I neatly made my bed and looked at the room again. It looked the feathers were going to be a challenge. I picked up my mini bin that was beside the bookshelf and tarted picking each by hand.

It was ten or fiffteen minutes later that the room looked like its usual form. Ashley and Damien have been watching me all along, from the door. When I was finished with the feathers I went across to the window. I opened it wide and a chilly wind blew inside. I stared outside lost in the shadows.

"Are you okay?" asked Ashley, sounding affectinate and caring. She was too quite tonight, she was too distant. I didn't need to look at her to know how she looked. She would be pale, her eyes too dark for its usual colour and they would look tired. She would try to smile and sound normal but would fail. She too wanted an explanation, the truth. But was I that selfish to make others paranoid, when there isn't anything serious?

"I don't know how I feel. But I know one thing, you both want a explanation and the truth."i said staring at the dark grey sky. I would give them the satisfaction they needed, even if it meant lying. "I made the room like this. I had a fight with my mother on the phone, and lost my temper. And I look like a dead corpse because I took depression tablets. I knew where it was because my mom uses it time to time. I'm sorry I had to make you worry for no reason." I lied. I could feel the pain they were feeling. Betrayal, anger, surprise. I could feel them moving further and further away from me. I had to do this because, if I got them into this thing, that I didn't even know what it was. They would be in trouble and in danger. The only way to protect them is to lose them. I know one thing though, and that this is not hallucination or a joke. My dreams are always correct. My instincts always right. And these cannot be my imagination or a type of game. This cannot be a coincidence.

"I know you better than anyone or even you know yourself. You would think we will leave you but we were always there for you, and we always will. This is your business, we have no right or reason to push that." Ash said sounding closer than before. "Your lying, and thats what I know. There is sometthing you are not telling us, because of a reason you think is rational. But if your business is yours, our lives is ours. We dont need you or anyone to protect us."Ash continued. She was a stubborn girl, with a bright future. She not only was independent but confident.

"I too know one thing. There is something bothering you and thats why you are trying to put a distance. We both love you, and you know this, but what is it. Really." Damien said sounding closer as Ashley. He sounded more softer and calmer. I tuned to face both of them.

"There is nothing going on. Im totally fine, and healthy. If you don't want to believe me, then thats your choice. I just need some space and privacy." I said with a flat and a cold voice. They both looked lost and tired. "Its late now, and its getting dark. You two should go now." I said without looking at their eyes. After a few minutes, Damien broke the silence.

"Okay. You're right, we better get going."Damien said, and slowly retrieved back toward the door. He stopped and waited for Ashley. She was looking intently staring into my eyes. She broke her gaze and stopped halfway while walking toward Damien, and spoke over her shoulder.

"Call your father. He called me because he could'nt reach you, and he told me it was an emergecy. Good bye."she said and stalked off. I could hear their footsteps down the stairs too the front door. They hesitated for a moment and shut the door behind. The house fell into silence, and shadows. I walked slowly around in circles inside the bedroom. I didn't want to think or feel, about the last few minutes. This was a typical act of me. Never speak to anyone about how I felt, about the problems I faced or my worries. I always kept inside that kept building like a block of lego. I closed the window and walked downstairs. It was 17:30, the big grand clock showed on the corridor. It was still early, and my mother wouldn't be home until late midnight. Her and Paul would be outside with friends, probably partying, and they would be drunk. I grabbed my cardigan from the cloak and walked outside locking the door securly.

I didn't know where I was going, except that I had to go far away from the house. I needed time to think and freshen up. I walked through the streets toward the hyde park. The park was unusually empty, and silent. There was few children playing on the swings that was about the age of 6 or 7, and a boy about my age on the basketball court. I walked toward a bench that was in the childrens playground. I sat down and watched the children play and laugh. There was two girls and a boy. One girl was ,medium size with dark brown hair. She had a pink dress with black tights. The other girl was a little taller with long brown curly hair. She had purple skirt with a black long sleeved t-shirt. She had white thick tights with black shiny shoes. The boy was the same height with sandy hair. He wore trainers with grey jumper and track suit bottoms that was quite big for him. Watching them fool with each other and fall down made me forget nearly everything. But it also took me to the past. When I was just a kid, where I use to run around on my fathers back and laugh. When I was a kid just like the children now in the plaground, me and my friends living the lives we were given without knowing what might be in the future. The kids in the playground were now walking towward the exit of the park. I watched them go before they couldn't be seen anymore. I turned and stared at the swings. I walked towards them and sat on it. I started to swing and felt the wind on my face. I felt a smile rise on my face, and I had a feeling of time travelling. Why does scientist try to find how to time travel whch you can easily do with memories? I felt like a five year old when they first get to swing by themselves, when they start to learn how stand in their own two feet without the help of a parent. If my father was here, he would be looking at me, but his eyes would be in the past,distant. I closed my eyes and felt like flying. I gave more power and swung higher and higher. I started to feel sick after a few minutes and slowed down by pressing my legs down to the ground. I finally stopped and opened my eyes. Nothing looked different, then I must have metally time travelled. Note to shelf:don't be too imaginative! I got off the swing and turned toward the exit.

"Too young for swings aren't we?"Theodore Esmaraldo asked in the dim light of the day. Hes black hair filled with streaks of light, his eyes filled with amusement. He had black vest revealing his biceps and his muscular shoulders and black tracksuit bottoms. I looked at his face, and again saw his beuaty, even more in the dark. I wasn't surprised whenever he showed up like this. I guess I was getting used to it.

"Fun doesn't have an age, and who says we grow up but lose our childish side!"I said, staring at his eyes and finding out how calm I sounded. I surprised myself rather than the opposite. "And what are you doing here? Guess not for sliding down the slide is it?" I asked feeling the side of my mouth twitch upwards into a smile.

"No. I was actually playing basketball over there." he said and pointed to the basketball court. It must have been him then, when I first came to the park. "I saw you come in and came to see what kind of childish act you were upto. It was pretty boring before you came along." he chuckled,that sounded so young and sweet.

"How long have you been here?" I asked feelig my cheeks fill with blood

"I came straight here after school. But I've been watching you since you were on that swing, if thats what you mean." he said simply, without being embarressed. Giving me I would havehis crooked smile that almost took my breath away. I would have hid beneath the surface if I was in his place where he just got caught watching a girl. Well again, he wasn't like other boys.

"Oh. If you like to play basketball, you could join the schools team."

"Nahh. I like to play solo."he said bouncing the ball on the concrete floor twice. "You can still swing if you want? I can um...help!"he said walking toward the swings. He gestured his hand and gave a little curtsy. I walked and sat on the swing. I holded on tight to the sides and relaxed. Tried is a better explanation. He started to swing me gently, not too fast, or too slow.

"You feeling better?"

"No, not really. I haven't had enough sleep."

"If so. Why are you here, getting more tired by the minute."

"I just needed some air. I don't like being alone when I'm ill."I said sensing the next question that will reveal more about me than I wanted.

"What about your mother? Isn't she home?"he asked still swinging me.

"No. They are usually out until,midnight. I always stay with Ashley or Damien or sometimes they come and stay late."I said feeling my throat tighten. I despertly needed them here with me. I wanted to talk to them. I sighed.

"Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset." he said swinging me more slower now. He sounded pityful and annoyed at himself. He stopped and walked to face me. His clean cut features, his thin lips in line, he looked intently at me.

"You shouldn't depend on people. At least that's what I learnt. My sister is the only person I am close to, my father...works, my stepmom is wasted and my mother. Well, I'm not alllowed to see her." he said, his dark eyes getting sad. He tore his gaze and looked behind my shoulder. "You should count yourself lucky"he said, first looked down at his shoes and then back at me. He seemed to be calculating what he would say. When he opened his mouth to say it, he changed his mind and shut it. There was something lost about his character. He concentrated too much and always looked distant. I didn't know what to say but I knew talking to him would make me relax.

"I've always been alone since my parents divorced. I haven't got a sibling except my best friends who are far much better than a sister or a brother. Anyways, I found a new mate!" I said.

"Who?"he asked confused. He looked adorable and heartbreakingly good-looking. I winked and he threw his head back and laughed. We both laughed. Our laughs scronising pefectly together in the air. He ran his hand through his dark silky hair, and came closer to the swing. He looked magnificiently mysterious and dangerous. But this time, not in a bad but sexy way. I looked down, concentrating on my shoes. His footsteps stopped and I looked up to see his face. He was looking over my shoulder at something I couldn't see. I turned around and saw a group of boys staring back at Theodore. I couldn't see how they looked from here, but they seemed to be nothing but trouble. I looked back at Theodore who was frozen in place and watching the boys with narrowed eyes.

"Do you know those guys?"i asked and got his attention. He broke his gaze from the group and looked at me. His facial expression looked surprised but I begged to differ. He smiled and spoke.

"No." he answered shortly. He turned around to pick his ball that he left on the floor earlier. He started bouncing the ball on the concrete floor, his back to me making it impossible to see his face. I looked back and the group of boys who were by now gone, the exit clear the sky getting darker. I got off the swing and stood there. He was still bouncing the ball, he's shoulder a little slouched, his head high. How strange? This morning he was nothing to me, but now, I wanted to know him more! This morning he was someone that I didn't wan't to be near at, but now I didn't want him to go! He looked so vulnerable and unhappy that I wanted to hold him in my arms and tell him everything would be all right! What is happening to me? The thought of him touching me, his strong arms around my shoulders into a warm embrace was making my heart beat fast. My hands were now sweaty and my face filling with colour. I shook my head. I realised that now Theodore was facing me, hes body inches away from mine. I could feel he's warm,sweet breath, hes eyes melting into mine. I quickly took a step back and turned to sit at the swing again. When I sat on the swing I kept looking around except at Theodore. I glanced behind and the group of boys were gone. I looked up at the sky and it was dark, with grey clouds, the moon starting to rise to the sky! I slipped a nervous cough and looked at Theodore.

"I think I should go. Its getting dark and kind of cold."I said and he looked first at the gate and then at the sky. He gave a short nod. "Thank you Theodore. It was great talking to you and um...thanks for the swing!" I smiled.

"No problem. It was a pleasure!"he said and winked. He looked so young and cute that I looked at the floor nervously. "But can I take you home. You know the streets."he said becoming serious. He was right, groups and drunk people were out at this time of the day, usually at the parks. I didn't even want to go home alone, I wanted to ask a few things, which I totally didn't know how. I wasn't at ease like him when I asked questions about other peoples lives.

"I would like that, thank you." I said and got off the swings. We started walking toward the gate, withh our bodies close as much as it can be! I kept on glancing his way with the corner of my eyes, and saw him looking at me.

"So how was school?"

"School?Pretty cool actually! It's better than my old one, how about that!"he laughed without humour. He was still serious and thoughtful.

"Can I ask something Theodore?"

"Yeah, of course!"

"What if its personal?"

"Its okay. I asked quite a few personal questions myself!"

"Okay. You know, you have helped me a lot today and I want to help you!" I said looking at him and catching his surprised face. "Whats wrong,Theo? I can see there is something bothering you. But I just don't know what!" I said fast as I can running out of breath. He looked like he heard the funniest but also the strangest thing ever. Maybe if I take a guess he might start talking. But what could be bothering a boy? "Is it about a girl at school or your girlfriend?" I asked shocked at myself for asking such a question. What made me say that, but Theodores reaction was nothing I saw in him before! He stopped, looking dead straight hes eyes cold and black as marbles. Hes hands shaking hard he's body frozen in place. He looked like he might just jump and kill someone. He looked like he was fighing with himself, hes eyebrows twitching, hes fists clencing;unclencing. He looked at me with hatred screaming through his eyes, narrowing them like a predator.

"NO!"he roared and stepped forward. I automatically stepped back! His face was red he's eyes nothing but a dark shadow. He was a different person, maybe the real him. He started talking again.

"I don't need help from anyone. Especially YOU!"he shouted. Hes eyes shining with anger. For a minute I thought those might be tears but no: he's a heartless jerk! How can I ever let my guard down on him, I am an IDIOT! I knew he was something like this, why did I ever let myself get fooled by his fake mask that he wore. I was the stupidest person in the whole planet! I started shaking my head and retreating to Landsheer Avenue! He was nothing but disappointment. For a second I thought he might be someone that can understand me or someone like me! But no. Once again I was wrong.

I turned my back and started to walk away from him. I tried to keep my head high and my shoulders intight, which I did without any trouble. I ran across the street and walked toward my house. The house looked haunted and looked without any existence of any living beings. I took my keys out my trousers pocket and tried to put the key inside the hole. When the door opened, I stormed in and put my body against the door;gave a sigh. Fresh tears rolled down my cheeks, my hands shaking hard. I ran upstairs,locking my door and dropped on to my bed! I locked my pillow across my chest and closed my eyes.

What just happened there? A boy that looked like he had great humour, great personality and good-look got angry and changed into something that looked like a serial killer, a ciminal. He was not frigtening but he looked vulnerable. I didn't run away because I was intimidated by him, I ran away because I thought I couldn't hold myself any longer. From telling him I was falling for him, from letting myself stop to slip into his arms. From letting myself cry and show my weakness and vulnerability. I kept seeing his face in my mind. His cold and scary gaze of a shadow. Hes lips in thin line, his eyes narrowed as much as it was possible. Hes chest taking in deep breaths like he was choking. I made the biggest mistake of my life by letting him get under my skin. But the biggest mistake was trying to help him! For once my mother was right. One day my kindness will get me into trouble, it will also cause me pain. And that day was today. I felt dizzy and my eyes started to hurt. I tried to open them but they felt too heavy. It felt like looking directly at the sun. I started to have a stomachache and the pain was nothing like I ever felt before. It was like knives piercing through my flesh. I tried to stood up, struggling to keep my balance. I walked a few steps toward the door before everything went dark and my mind went unconscious, my head hitting the hard laminent floor.


	5. Chapter 5

Heaven or Hell

"Christina!" someone screamed. It was a high pitch shrieking voice. A girl. She was wimping hard, her voice filled with hiccups. She was still whispering my name, like she just saw a ghost. Was I dead? I felt a cold hand on my neck, near my pulse. Whoever it was, they were checking my pulse. Someone put their hand over my back and my legs, feeling the lift and my legs dangling in air. They laid me down to a soft, smooth, warm surface. I felt lightheaded and calm.

"Christina?" someone with a deep, hoarse voice said. A boy. He sounded confused, shocked but mostly so young like a 5 year old. Then I heard the third footstep. Someone else was here, pacing around the room in circles, like how I did when I was stressed. The stranger suddenly stopped and I heard the footsteps come closer towards me. Someone got hold of my right hand and squeezed it.

"What happened to her?" the girl said her voice emotionless, but sad.

"She must have came home and locked her bedroom door but then...she must have um...fainted." the young boy said hesitating, his voice shaky.

"I have a bad feeling about this. She has been like this the whole day! I think we should take her to the hospital." she said her voice becoming distant and thoughtful. No! They can't take me to a hospital, I don't want to! I should do something to satisfy them, tell them something to convince them! I started to stir and tried to open my eyes. It was difficult with the bright light coming from my bedside lamp. I blinked a few times before I adjusted my surroundings.

The girl was Ashley with her shoulder lengthen curly hair into a neat ponytail, her school clothes still on, her make-up fading with only black eyeliner and a faint of turquoise eye shadow. She was holding my hand and stroking it. I looked at her face that was surprised but happy. I felt guilty for not waking up earlier. Her eyes were red and full of pain. I turned to my left and saw Damien. He not only sounded young but also looked young. His blonde hair was ruffled, some parts sticking above his head. His blue eyes looked alert but relieved. He's eyes moving from me to Ashley.

"Told you she'll be fine." Damien said cheerfully but his eyes read a different story. He, I knew, for one minute thought if he was too late. He got up slowly and kissed my forehead. His body was cold but it was good to feel it inside this boiling room. She nodded faintly, her eyes never leaving mine.

"Uh-huh." she said looking nervous, and started to fidget. She finally gasped the words like an explosion. "I don't understand! What happened? I used the spear key that you leave under your door mat, and I call there is no sound. I run up and find your door locked, and we had to break it to get in and find you..."she said her eyes full of questions. She looked sad to say it but didn't regret it.

"I don't know what happened. I just came inside the house, and locked my bedroom door and tried to go to sleep. Then some..."I hesitated, counting my words carefully not to alert them more. "-one I thought called my name and when I went to the door I just fainted. I think because I made a quick movement and didn't eat much, made me faint." I said with a shrug. A little lie, a little truth was no harm to anyone! Ashley seemed to relax and Damien gave a quite sigh. They seemed to be getting convinced, but they just needed a little push!

"And these days I'm not getting much sleep, and I guess I became really weak" I said with my voice strong and sincere. Ashley looked at Damien, who only gave a short shrug. He looked at me, realizing how normal I looked, realizing that I might be telling the truth. He smiled.

"Do you want anything?" he asked in full control of himself, his face lit up from the bedside lamp. He's blue eyes looking like the ocean that anyone would get lost in.

"Water would be great! And ooh, some chocolate. You know where it is" I said and aired him a kiss. He of course knew my house like he would know his, and I too can find anything blind folded in his house. He walked out the door and that's when I noticed the door. It wasn't totally broken, only the key lock was out of place and a few wood parts on the floor. Damien. He would have to pay for the door and repair it. He was good at the household fixings; he was always busy constructing or repairing things. I smiled.

"Yeah, um the door. Theodore had to break it, so we can get inside." she said looking over her shoulder toward the window. Theodore was here! What was he doing here after what happened, after his behavior how can he face me? That must have been the third stranger in the room. I felt my fists clenching and my eyes darken. He had no right to be here, not after he clearly expressed I wasn't! I couldn't see him but I needed to talk to him. But how? I cannot talk in front of Ash, she can't know this.

"Ash, can I ask for a favor?" I said sweetening my voice, and putting an innocent smile on my face.

"Of course, Kris!"

"Can you make me a cheese and tomato toast? I 'm really hungry. You can make yourself some if you want!"

"Yeah, sure. And I'll check on Damien. I'll laugh if he got lost." she laughed and walked through the door.

The room was dim lighted and every corner was filled with shadows. Theodore could be one of those, or none. I would not confront him about the earlier incident, I would only warn him to stay away. I tried to stand up on the bed, resting my back on the wall. But the pain in my head was so painful I winced.

"You shouldn't move, you should rest. You might have a concussion if you hit your head hard." Theodore moved from the other end of the corner where my bookshelf was. He spoke calmly and soft that almost sounded like a whisper. He walked into the light, showing his emotionless face and dead cold eyes. He was no more a shadow but now a ghost, haunting a house. He was still in his black tank top and black tracksuit bottoms, his mouth in tight thin line that showed no mercy.

"What are you doing here?" I said sounding hard, cold and hatred blew out with my voice. I narrowed my eyes and stared back at him.

"I called Ashley and Damien, and told them you weren't looking good. They came and wanted me to help them." he said moving toward the middle of the room. He had his left hand in his trousers pocket and the other holding the basketball. He was by the beds foot now and he bent down to place the ball on the floor. I knew my objective and that was not confronting him about earlier, but gives an impression that he would know to stay away.

"I'm sure _they_ are very thankful." I said making my voice sound critical and slow on the _they._ This was to show him that I wasn't and it happened to be working because he froze, his jaw tightened and his fists turned into a ball. He walked over to the bed and sat on the corner. He faced me, his face looking calmer and softer.

"Christina I don't know what happened earlier, but I know what you're thinking." he said voice sounding sad and sincere. He looked straight at me. "You thought I would hurt you didn't you?" he asked.

"Hurt me? That's just an understatemement Theodore. I've been hurt so many times that I know the definition, but what I saw wasn't the look of a friend" I said. I was disappointed so many times, I was hurt in many ways but that didn't stop me from crying and feeling it every time. I felt tears in my eyes. "But on the other hand, you wouldn't even have time to even touch me, because you wouldn't be able to." I said dashing smile. I knew I looked scary and insane but I didn't know how I looked to Theodore's but his eyes widened and his mouth opened. I knew how to fight and protect myself and that's why I wouldn't ever need a protection from a man. He slowly nodded his head and the side of his mouth shot up.

"What?" I said raising my voice.

"Nothing. It's just, I should have known you would. You are not like many girls I know or let's say like many people." he said shutting his eyes for a couple of seconds. He got up and walked toward the window. He opened the curtain and looked outside. After a couple of minutes he sighed and came back toward the bed. He walked over to my night stand desk and picked up the picture of me, my mum and dad. He smiled and spoke.

"There are things you don't know about me, and I don't see any way of you should. But-"he put the picture back to its place and turned toward me. "Even though I just met you, I wouldn't ever want to hurt you." he said without meeting my gaze. His sad eyes showed care and affection. I felt my guard crumble down, and my heart miss a beat. My mind suddenly filled with images. His frozen face in the park when he saw the group of boys, when he helped me in the geography area, when he brought me home, and now he was still here even though he didn't have to, even though he didn't know me. But that didn't still stop me from wanting him to stay away. My mind told me to follow my instincts. My instincts told me that he was dangerous, he was trouble and that he would hurt me, but my heart told me another story. My heart told me he cared, he only looked dangerous, he only acted like trouble, and he had the saddest eyes I've ever seen. What was I going to say? Stay away or don't leave?

"I brought your Ashley's Cheesy plus tomato yummy, finger licking toast!" Ashley busted through the door, miming to lick her fingers. Behind her Damien flicked the chocolate bars.

"Look what I got. Girls worst enemy!" Damien and Ashley laughed. They both didn't realize the awkwardness between me and Theodore. Theodore moved toward the door and started to pick the wooden parts. Damien came and sat to my left and Ashley on my right. Only if they knew they just saved me. This would give me time to think and get my bearings together. I looked at Theodore who was now looking for something.

"The bin is downstairs in the kitchen, if that's what you're looking for." Ashley said seeing his need. He smiled and nodded and walked out the door. Ashley turned to face me and gave me the toast. I took a bite. It was really hot so I chewed slowly. While I was eating I was thinking. I thought about what Theodore said. The mystery about him was about his past, about the things that no one knew and he was afraid that I would find out. And of course he knew I would try and wouldn't give up until I found out. I finished the toast and put the plate on the desk beside the bed.

"Thanks Ash." I said and reached for a bar from the chocolate. I put the bar inside my mouth and slowly chewed it. The sweet chocolate melted in my mouth leaving its flavor and I swallowed. Theodore walked inside the door. He bent down again and slowly picked the last wooden pieces on the floor,

"There's no need for that Theodore." I said to him but he didn't stop. He instead stood up and walked out the door again. Stubborn jackass! Damien suddenly yawned and I smiled.

"You two should go home, you look really tired." I said. They both looked at each other and back at me. More stubborn people. "Stop acting like I'm a child. I'm feeling much better and my mum will be here in a hour." we all knew the second part wasn't true, but they gave a slow and low sigh.

"Fine" they both said at the same time. Ashley stood up and walked beside Damien who got up and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"Goodnight and see you on Wednesday!" Damien said and dashed a charming smile. He winked and walked towards the door.

"Goodnight sweetie! Don't forget to wear your new jeans on Wednesday!" Ashley encountered and gave me an air kiss. Of course she had to tease me about my fashion! They both stepped out the door and I heard their footsteps down the stairs. They entered the kitchen. I could hear Ash's polite goodbye and Damien's boyish bye. Theodore's silky soft voice and musical tone was hard to hear. I got up and walked to the window. The front door opened and both Ashley and Damien stepped out. Damien had his hand over Ashley's shoulder and she was leaning faintly on Damien's chest. They looked just like a couple. Of course, I knew they both had feelings for each other but if they found that out by themselves it would be sweeter than if I told them. They walked up the street toward Ashley's house, and I watched them until the darkness took them away form my view. I looked up at the sky. It was black and filled with only the light of the stars. And of course the moon. The full moon was up in the sky, smiling down to earth, and to me. My father always told me that if there was a full moon, make a wish. I closed my eyes and made a wish. But what did I wish for? Well if you told your wish it wouldn't become true would it? I smiled. There was a quite knock on the door but it was loud enough for me to jump. Theodore was standing in the doorway and he looked quite amused.

"You never going to grow up are you?" he chuckled. His hair was ruffled and he had my father's old repairing box. Well no one ever teased me about that! I smiled but stared at the box, remembering my father. What is he doing?

"What is that for?" I said and pointed to the big black box. I've never opened or looked at it since my father left.

"Oh. I asked Damien for one and he showed me this one. I wanted to fix your door so your mother wouldn't notice." he said and shrugged. Well that would save a lot of arguments with my mother. "I'm sorry I didn't ask for your permission."

"No um..thats fine. Thanks but you don't have to do that. I wouldn't want your family to get worried." I said my eyes still on the box. It was hard to take my eyes away from the box, because it shouted my memories with my dad. He put the box down.

"They won't be home at this time anyways. And I like to fix things." he said and gave me his crooked smile. I smiled." You can help if you like?" he asked and checked the doors lock. He fiddled with the knob and opened the box. I walked over to him and sat on the floor. I crossed my legs and stroked the black metal box. I closed my eyes and remembered my father. His white, grayish hair, them hazel eyes that looked happy but old. His mouth always smiling, his speeches always like lecture. His posture, the way he held himself, made him look wise.

"You okay?" Theodore asked.

"Yeah. It's just...this tool box used to be my fathers, before he left. This is the first time; I've seen it since in a long time." I said sounding tired and distant. I opened my eyes and found Theodore looking toward my bedside desk. The picture.

"That's your father in the picture, right?"

"Yeah." I got up before he said anything else. I desperately wanted to talk to someone but not him. I was still angry even though I might sound calm. He gave me a puzzled look.

"I'm going to use the bathroom. If you need anything just call out" I said and walked through out door toward the bathroom. I locked the door behind me and went over to the sink. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked pale with sweat in my forehead. My eyes looked tired and my cheeks red. I placed my backhand on my forehead and it was burning. I must have temperature. I opened the tap and washed my face, then got the towel and dried it. I found a hair band on the sink and tied my hair into a ponytail. I took in a deep breath and unlocked the door. I slowly closed the bathroom light and walked back to the room. Theodore was screwing some nails into the knob. He was quick!

"Wow. You're nearly finished!" I said. He looked up and smiled.

"Yeah well, a lot of practice!" he said while screwing the nails. "It wasn't that much damaged so don't worry it won't look any different." he said and picked up another nail. I went inside and sat on the bed. I watched him screw the last nail and bent over the tool box.

"Your father must have done this as a hobby. He has everything anyone would need." he said and looked inside.

"Yeah, he did. He would open up things and try to put them back together. "I smiled and laughed. "He would usually suck at them but he never give up!" I said and gave a deep sigh.

"Well this is done. Good as new!" he said and closed the tool box. He seemed to don't know what to do next because he kept looking around.

"Thanks Theodore. You shouldn't have done that. Damien broke it and he had to fix and pay me!" I said and laughed. He laughed but it didn't sound genuine, it sounded nervous.

"Well that isn't the case I'm afraid." he said picking up the tool box. I pulled my brows together. "I broke the door and I would pay if you want me to?" he said.

"Oh. No, no, you don't have to. I was just joking!" I said. We were silent for a couple of seconds, until Theodore spoke.

"I guess I better get going." he said and hesitated at the door. I stood up and followed him when he started to walk down the stairs. We reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Thanks again Theodore." I said and rested on the wall while he put his trainers. He stood up and put the tool box on top of the shoe drawer.

"Theodore, do you want to keep that?" I asked and he looked startled. He looked at the box and shook his head.

"No, thanks. This means a great deal to you and I wouldn't want to take that away from you!" he said and shrugged.

"My father isn't going to come back Theodore, and this would only bring back memories. I can't use them and my mother wouldn't even notice." I said and smiled. He was of course so stubborn that he still hesitated. "Please Theodore. Take it!" I said and he sighed.

"Thank you Christina." he said and walked towards the front door. He unlocked it and stepped outside. I followed him behind and the cold breeze hit me. He was going to freeze in that tank top. He looked at me and looked at his shoes before he spoke.

"I'm so sorry Christina, about the earlier incident. I didn't mean to be like that. I just lost myself and it took time to put myself back together." he said still looking at his shoes. He looked so sorry, those sad eyes looked like a hurt deer. All my lust for him vanished and I understood him. I must have touched something that he was sensitive about. Next time instead I would wait for him to talk to me.

"That's all right. And next time you can come and talk to me if you need any help. I won't encounter to your business" I said but what he said to me still shouted back at me in my mind. He looked up and those deer eyes looked happy and grateful.

"You really are something." he said and picked up the tool box from the floor. Without another word he walked into the darkness. I stood there listening to the echoes of his last words, remembering his face. I retreated back and closed the door shut. I slowly went upstairs turning off the corridor light and walked to my bedroom. I switched off my bedroom light and went inside the covers. I closed the bedside lamp and snuggled to my duvet. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

God didn't say that life would be easy. He just said that it would be worth it!

The next morning I woke up with a loud knock on my door. I blinked a few times and saw my mother walk inside the room. Her long black hair was put into a bun, her brown eyes looking tired. She had her red nightgown and her eyeliner was smudged. She walked toward the window opening the curtains wide to let the sunshine enter the room. The light hit my eyes and they burned. She came toward my bedside desk and picked up the empty plate.

"Good morning mother." I said and smiled.

"You didn't go to school! Why?" she said raising her voice, and narrowing her eyes. She only looked at me with hatred. Her voice was cold and hard. The smile on my face vanished and I put on a bored face.

"I fainted at school and the nurse gave me a day off. They tried to call you but your phone was unavailable" I said and she pulled the duvet off me. She looked at me like I was an insect. She pursued her lips and shook her head. "They gave me a paper if you don't believe me." I said so she wouldn't start a fight. I hated to stay at home, because all day I would be stuck inside my bedroom so that I wouldn't come close to her or my stupid, ugly stepfather.

"Fine. My God Christina, are you that lazy?" she asked her voice pitiful. She looked at my clothes and walked over to the closet. She opened it and started picking out some clothes. "You eat and you don't wash your dishes. You don't even change into your pajamas. Look at other girls, who does everything their mother tells them to. They dress like a girl and they all have boyfriends!" she said and I felt my temper rising. The same old story about me not having a boyfriend because I didn't dress like a girl, or didn't do house chores. She picked up a black tracksuit bottoms and a white plain t-shirt. She stood up and walked over to my bed. She threw the clothes to my face and walked out the door with a loud thud. She didn't even say good morning or have that special smile she had on every morning when she woke me up a long time ago. I looked at the clothes, and fresh tears filled my eyes. I went to the door and locked it. I slowly slid down and started to cry. It was quite and relaxing. I bit my lips not to make sound and tasted blood off my lips. I got up and swept away the tears with my hand. I sometimes wondered if she still knew I was her daughter, and that I needed her so much. In my life since my father left I have been alone. I couldn't see my father, and my mother was lost in a fake fantasy. I walked back to my bed and started to undress. I took my t-shirt off and put the plain white top. I unzipped my black jeans and entered my legs into the comfy tracksuit bottoms. I folded my clothes neatly and put them back to my closet. I walked back and neatly made my bed. When I was finished I laid in bed and stared at the ceiling.

The vibration on hard wood brought me back to earth. I glanced around and saw my phone vibrating on my bedside desk. I stood up and pressed the answer button.

"Hello?"

No answer. There was nothing but dead silence. I looked at the callers ID but it was private.

"Hello? Who is this?" I said waiting for an answer. There was still no response. I closed the call and placed the phone back to its place. I looked at the digital clock and it showed it was five minutes to eleven. Ashley and Damien would be out to break in five minutes. There was a sudden sound coming from downstairs. I got up and walked to the door. I unlocked it and listened.

"Mother?" I said. Nobody answered except the light sound of wind coming from the bathroom window. It must have been my mom shutting the front door, when she went out. I went to the bathroom and shut the window. I brushed my hair into a neat ponytail. Opened the hot water tap and washed my face. I used the pink towel on the wall to dry my face. I picked up my orange toothbrush from the sink and applied some toothpaste. I brushed my teeth up and down, side to side and rinsed with cold water. I dried my hands and went back to my bedroom. My phone was vibrating again. I picked it up and saw Ashley's ID on the screen.

"Hi, Ash!" I said jumping on my bed.

"Hi babe. How you feeling?" she asked cheerfully.

"Much better! Where's Dami?" I asked closing my eyes and took a low deep breath.

"Oh he's right here-"she cut off into giggles. "Kris? Ha ha ha. Hold on!" she started laughing. There was background noises of giggles and footsteps. The footsteps turned into a run and faded with the background noises of murmurs.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" I said. The noises in the background were loud and full of high pitch giggles.

"Hi. It's Theodore." his voice low and soft. He sounded so formal and serious that I felt heartbroken.

"Hello Theodore. How are you?" I said trying to cover the surprise in my tone.

"I'm cool. How's it going at home?" he said sounding more casual and boy like. What? This boy has some serious personality disorder! He was serious and tight, and now he is calm and casual.

"It's... fine here. What's going on there? Where Dami and Ash?" I asked. I had to try really hard to cover the surprise and hesitation in my voice.

"Well...I am not sure where they ran off to but they were just joking around each other. I'll make sure they call you back again." he said.

"Thanks but you don't have to do that. I'll see them after school anyway." I said. I suddenly coughed hard and deep that I thought my lungs were going to pop out of my chest! "Sorry!" I managed to say through the pain that felt like someone was squeezing my heart.

"You okay?" he said sounding expressionless and cold. I felt my eyes close and took a deep breath. He was the same old cold, heartless boy when I first met him. I felt my temper rising and my hands turning into balls.

"Fine. Goodbye!" I said saying through my teeth. I closed the phone to his face before he could say something else. I put my hand over my heart and felt the fast tempered of my heart beat that sounded like a birds. I opened my eyes. The whole room was turning in circles. Everything in twos, everything blurry. I slid my legs over and closed my eyes. What's happening? The pain in my head was piercing and tears filled my eyes. What do I do? _If you feel dizzy or disoriented just put your head inside your knees _a voice told me in my head_. _Theodore! He told me it will work! The pain pierced through my brain once again. I put my head inside my knees and waited.

The pain cleared out of my mind in few minutes and I felt light headed. I slowly straightened up and opened my eyes. Nothing was blurry as well as nothing in their doubles were spinning around me. I put my hand on my forehead. It was hot and I was sweating a little. I laid on my back, feeling unnaturally calm and thoughtless. I closed my eyes and a image came up. His dark, cold black eyes, his thin lips in a crooked smile, his hair tousled into many ways. Theodore's face was the only thing I could think of. His character was pulling me to him I instead of repelling. His dark gaze or his cold voice had no effect on me except makes me want to ask for him to put his arms around me and keep me safe and warm in his embrace. His soft voice make my heart skip a beat, his worry brings butterflies in my stomach. What is wrong with me? The phone rang and I looked at the ID. I didn't recognize the phone number, but I answered it anyway.

"Hello?" I asked, my voice sounding tired and bored.

"It's me." I froze when I heard the voice on the other end. My eyes widened, my body starting to shake. How couldn't I recognize his voice? His voice that showed wisdom and sincerity. The voice that I always loved to listen to. That sad, distant but loving voice that I always felt home and safe. But I still couldn't make myself believe what I was hearing? For years the only contact I had with him was only by phone, I only imagined him, not being able to see him. For a reason, no, a dark secret that kept him away from seeing me. I knew he would be standing by the window looking up at the sky and thinking about me, and his life. He would blame himself, and hate himself for the choices he made. I knew like I knew that gravity held me down to the ground that he sometimes wished he didn't exist, because I could see it in his eyes, his voice, the way his shoulders are slouched and defeated! I knew deep inside that he would never smile again, instead he would cry every night. "Dad?" my voice in a whisper and full of tears. I shut my eyes and bit my lip.

"It's me honey. Are you okay? Where's your mother?" he asked his voice sounding anxious and worried. I felt my heart beating faster and faster. I felt my the tears in my throat. I swallowed hard, and held my breath. I finally spoke.

"She's fine father. She just went...to the, um...shop." I said lying to him. He noticed my hesitation but didn't push it.

"Christina Garcia, are you okay?" he asked using my full name, and he was raising his voice now. He was angry but not at me, and again he was angry at himself.

"I am perfectly fine father. What is wrong, are you okay?" I held my breath once again. Now, I had more control over my body and voice. I took in a silent breath and kept my voice neutral.

"Mia. Meet me halfway, when the sun will set and the ghosts will appear. The darkness will lurk but you must follow the tree to give you light and direction. Follow the name to your beginning and enter the dimension of another world where the truth of a name will rise." he said desperation filling his voice. He said it quickly as possible, it sounded like a murmur but I could hear him clearly. He told me rhymes all my life whenever we had to meet, but this was nothing like looking through a window. It was like thinking you can go through a wall, but realizing its impossible.

"What? Father what are you saying?" I said as quickly as I could but he ended the call, leaving me numb and empty. I stared at the phone, dazed and full of questions. I got up quickly and opened my desk drawer. I found a pen and a pad note. I quickly wrote it down before I forgot, and sat back down to the bed. I stared at the small yellow note in my hand, my mind repeating every word twice but my mind was empty. Who was this Mia? What beginning what? Which truth? The piercing sound mad I jump and I looked up to see my phone ringing. It was another caller, another person without an unknown number. I quickly opened it without hesitation.

"Dad? Is that you?" I said quickly not to waist time.

"No." the caller said. He was a male, with a stone hard voice. Even though I knew him for a day, but that attraction of his voice could belong to no one, but him.

"Hello Theodore." I stood up and walked out of my bedroom, with my phone in my ear.

"Hello, Kris. I just called to...I wanted to-" he stopped. He gave a sigh and talked again. "I wanted to ask if you want to come to this small restaurant with me, because I knew you would be alone until your parents came back." he asked nervously. I blinked a few times, frozen on the stairs.

"Are you asking me out?" I asked like if I was teasing him.

"You don't have to call that if you don't want to. Just a friend's night out!" he said. I had difficulty understanding now. He sounded different, he felt different. He felt like other boys. I thought he was different, I thought he was genuinely a boy with a character.

"So, when are we meeting up?" I asked with curiosity. I had images come to my mind of a fancy restaurant, that had a romantic sound track on, with a menu that would water my eyes and food that was glamorous.

"I'll meet you at 7pm at end of your street. The place is not far away, we'll walk." he said sounding more relaxed and confident. I smiled.

"That'll be nice." I said feeling my cheeks blush.

"See you tonight." he said and before he could end the call I had to say it.

"Theodore, I want to apologise for my early behavior. I shouldn't have shut the phone to your face like that. I just had a lot on my mind and I just-" I stopped taking a deep breath, and sighed.

"No blood, no foul. See you later, Christina Garcia." he said and I shut the phone. I was in front of the mirror in the hall, and I was smiling at myself. It was my first day but I wasn't nervous. I had a best friend that was a boy, which every meal would have felt like a date to any girl. What was I going to wear? The thought vanished as quickly as my stomach officialised that I was hungry. I walked inside the kitchen and walked toward the fridge. The laminent floor was cold but not disturbing. I opened the fridge and found some milk and ready made pancakes inside a package in the freezer. I took it out and went over to the sink. I opened the pack and took all the frozen 4 pancakes and filled a glass of milk. I opened the bottom cupboard and took out a Teflon pan. I placed it on top of the cooker, opening the gas into high temperature and I put the Teflon on top of that. I put some oil inside the pan and placed one of the pancakes to let it fry. While the pancake was frying, I put my weight on the wall and thought about what I would wear today. Something flirty or casual? I had a black mini dress with diamonds on the skirt, or would I wear my dark blue jeans with a plain white t-shirt. If I dress flirty he would think I like him or even more, but if I dress like I don't care about it that much. And it would be incredibly super comfortable than the dress. I broke out of the thought with a burnt smell. I looked at the pancake and smoke was coming out. I quickly turned it to the other side.

Should I tell Ashley and Damien that I am going out to a friendly dinner with Theodore? Of course. But should I go out with him? Even though he seems so familiar he is still someone who I don't know much about. Should I cancel it? No, that would be rude and unnatural to me. And to tell the truth a part of me wanted to go. I glanced at the pancake and it was ready. I opened the top cupboard and took out a plate. I took the pancake out of the pan and put it in the plate. I put all the other pancakes back at the fridge after I closed the cooker; rinsed the pan. I took the pancake and ate it with my hands. I chewed it slowly and took my time.

Theodore Esmaraldo. Tonight, I would get to know him more, if he refuses to co-operate then I will leave. He knows too much about me and I know nothing. Only a name. But I have the feeling in my gut that some things I might hear tonight might not be pleasant. He is mysterious, a boy with a past that he keeps remembering and gets lost in. I bit the last pancake and placed the plate in the sink. I rinsed my hand and dried it with the hand towel that hung on the wall behind me. I walked back upstairs to my bedroom and walked over to the window. The sky was bright blue with the sun up in the sky. The street was empty and silent. I turned and walked toward the bed. I suddenly stopped when I saw the ball.

Theodore's basketball was right beside the beds foot, where he must have forgot last night. I went over to pick it up and bounce it once. The ball was hard and bouncy enough to make a loud noise on the floor. I smiled. I remembered the boy in the basketball court, playing solo, the fast paced steps and the jump for a score. I put the ball back to its place and smiled again. I jumped on the bed, giving a low giggle. I felt so happy and relaxed. But the feeling was gone quickly when I remembered the riddle my father told me.

"_Mia. Meet me halfway, when the sun will set and the ghosts will appear. The darkness will lurk but you must follow the tree to give you light and direction. Follow the name to your beginning and enter the dimension of another world where the truth of a name will rise."_

Mia? That name was sounded so familiar, but I just couldn't put my finger on it. It must be connected to me, otherwise father wouldn't have said it. All my life, I did puzzles, quizzes, treasure hunts that I cracked so easily, and now! I sighed. I can't even think of any connections between me and a name. My father always told me riddles that would link back to me. The place in the riddle, the name must be something that I already know, or something I must find out! But mostly the thing that was bothering me was the truth of a name. Who was father meeting me with? He must desperately want me to know something that he is risking not only his but other people's life! That's the secret about my dad. He has to hide, from something or people. He never speaks and that's why he left me here with my mother. If my dad knew a place where I could safely live my life, I would have been in his arms right now. The front doors bell rang. I stood up and went down the stairs. Who could it be? I opened the door and the bright sunshine, shone to my skin, making it warm. Theodore stood right in front of me. I felt my eyes widening and my mouth open.

"Hi, Kris. I'm sorry to come like this, I called but you never answered." he said smiling politely. He's eyes were dark but soft, he's dark blue jeans and white t-shirt made him look much older. He wore black trainers and he had his black leather jacket in his right hand.

"What? I..um...aren't you supposed to be at school?" I asked surprised. Theodore only laughed. His laugh waking up the butterflies in my stomach. My heart skipped a beat and I closed my eyes; took a deep breath.

"Last lesson was free. I came after I got registered." he said giving me his crooked smile. I put my hand on my head and squeezed my eyes shut for a minute. I opened them and smiled.

"Well...at least you're not bunking. You're in lesson, right?" I said and winked. He smiled and I stepped out the doorway to let him.

"I was thinking you would actually put Barbie Girl on and dance like a kid!" he said laughing. His eyes shone of happiness and something I couldn't recognize. Nervous? I shook my head.

"I'm glad I amuse you." I said and I closed the door.

"So, what have you been up to?" he asked casually and started to walk up the stairs. I froze in my place. He walked so casually around my house. He walked like he's been here thousand times, he neither felt nervous or shy. I blinked and walked up the stairs after him.

"Well, nothing funny or exciting!" I said waving my hands in the air. "I just spoke to my-" I cut off. I bit my lips and looked up to meet Theodore's encouraging eyes. I was nearly going to say I spoke to my father. I can never talk about my father, even to my mom or Ash or Damien. "I mean I spoke to my um..cousin." I lied and he shrugged and continued walking. We were at the top of the stairs now and Theodore walked into my room.

"Oh yes! You forgot your ball here the other night! I was going to bring it tonight." I said and looked down to my toes. I felt color fill my cheeks and Theodore's eyes waiting to meet my gaze. I ignored him.

"I don't think I forgot anything here!" he said and walked over to the ball. I looked up to him and smiled. "I guess someone just left it for you, to play with!" he said and laughed.

"Well, at least one of us is in a happy mood!" I said under my breath.

"What did you say?" Theodore asked. I looked up in surprise. He heard me?

"I asked if you wanted anything to eat or drink." I lied once again. He shrugged and shook his head.

"So...What brings you here?" I cocked my head to the side." I don't think you always drop down to people's houses like this. Especially, if that person is just someone you met a day ago." I teased.

"Its...I...Well.."he hesitated. He seemed like he wanted to say something but couldn't find the right words. He took in a deep breath. "I just had things on my mind that bothered me. And I couldn't concentrate at school so I came to the only place where-"he stopped suddenly looking into my eyes.

"Where...?" I encouraged him on.

"...I could speak to someone who could understand." I felt like someone holding my heart in their hands and squeezing it hard. I smiled. I didn't know how to answer that.

"What makes you think I could understand?"

"Well...When you speak about your father you act different. I mean, I don't know. It's like a shadow. It crawls around you and you seem like you're at the edge, just about to cry." he looked away.

"Well, I guess I now have an obsessive stalker." I laughed nervously.

"You're avoiding the subject."

"Okay maybe I am. But you cannot just assume things like that about people. Especially about me. You just met me. You cannot know everything, or assume you do. I appreciate you wanting to speak to me, but don't get my personal life involved."

"If I didn't know it wasn't right I wouldn't even speak about it. The truth is that you're emotionally weak. Afraid."

"How dare you tell me who I am or not." I felt my face getting red and my voice raising.

"I am not making my points about that."

"First of all, you are not making any points at all. Secondly, you don't know what I have been through. Third, I don't think you are hearing a single word that is coming out of your mouth."

"Christina, I am a very straight forward person-"

"Oh, I think I've figured that out by now!" I cut him off.

"-and I speak my mind. But let me tell you something you may already know. "he continued to speak, as if he didn't hear what I said. "You are emotionally afraid because you think you will lose that person. Because you did lose the ones you cared so much about. You are afraid to getattached, even to your friends. The moment they show affectionyou run away." I was too stunned to speak. I started to shake my head from side to side. i didn't want to believe these lies, that this stranger was yelling at me. My mother was right. Sometimes being too nice or friendly to someone can hurt you. I blinked and took deep breath before answering.

"Theodore, I don't know who you think you are. Maybe a psychic, or you like to guess, but...Don't okay. Don't ever, ever, ever speak to me like that. Ever." I said and turned my back to him. I closed my eyes, and fought hard to keep the tears away. "You wouldn't know-"I continued, "anything about it, unless you yourself, went through the arrogant point that you just described."

"How do you know, I haven't?" he said almost a whisper. I could hear the doubt in his voice.

"Because if you truly did, you, yourself would be too afraid to talk about it." I said and straightened up. Theodore was now silent. From his silence I knew what he was thinking. He knew I was right. He was sorry for what he had done. But my anger wasn't because he said those things to me. I was angry because they all were true. I am emotionally weak, as a mother would be about its baby. I was too afraid to get close someone even my friends. I always needed to act cold, and emotionless to be able to not show how I truly felt. Because sometimes your weakness can be used against you. Because sometimes it hurts to love.

"I'm sorry." Theodore spoke from behind. It sounded as if he was not behind me but far behind talking through a tunnel.

"Is it your mother?" I challenged him.

"What?" Theodore asked surprised. I turned to face him.

"Could your mother be the reason you have so many things in your mind?" I asked. Theodore just nodded and looked away. I slowly walked up the stairs and motioned for Theodore to follow. We silently walked up the stairs and into my room. I went toward the window and Theodore walked toward the bookshelf. His back was turned to me and I couldn't see his face.

"Don't think that trying to talk to me and giving me a glimpse of your family life would mean we are friends and those we can talk about things that are our deepest secrets. We just met each other, and we don't even have any idea what kind of human beings we are. I know that you are just only trying to pay back for the way you behaved the other day but, please don't think that you need to"

"I don't believe that I have done anything out of character or hurtful toward you to need to pay you back."

"Oh."

"You are right that we are not friends, yet, but trust me I understand why."

"And why do you think I do not wish to be your friend?"

"Because I haven't earned your trust. Because you test people, to know what kind of friend they can be. You analyse their every move, you critise them from the first impesison you get. You don't want to get to know someone. Like me for instance. I don't believe I created a god first impression on you. At school and after. Maybe if I didn't act the way I did the other day, we may not be having this conversation. Or maybe we would actually be trying to get to know each other"

"My problem is not we being friends. My problem is you judging my actions against my true feelings. I may act cold, but a person real close to me knows how friendly I am."

"It wasn't truly my intention."

"Intention or not you did say things that is not your business."

"I just thought...Well I don't know what I thought."

"Well I am sure you are familiar with the saying: Think before you speak. And I think you should use that."

"Are you angry with me?" Theodore turned around.

"No."

"You're not?"

"Your right, I do test people nut not for trust nut for danger. And your right, also, to think that you didn't create a good first impression. On others you may, but for me, no."

"I don't know how to answer that."

"You don't need to." I said and looked at the sky. It was bright with sunlight and the sky was cloudless blue. I sighed and leaned my head against the frame."But let me tell _you_ something."

"Your mother left you, didn't she? Reason that you can't, make yourself understand." I pointed out. "You are independent, you hate to get help from people, and you hate it when people see your weaknesses. You feel like you always have to please others, you always feel like you are alone and no one, but no one can understand you." I stopped to take a breath. My heart was aching. It was hard for me to make these point because I was basically describing who I was. I was close to tears, but Theodore's loud breaths stopped me, because he was getting angry.

"How could you possibly know or suggest such a thing!" Theodore gasped.

"You wish that you have your mother with you because she's the only person that is alive that you cannot reach. Because all your life you had everything you wished for." I carried on as if I didn't hear him. I wanted to make him taste some of his own medicine.

"Stop it!" Theodore shouted his back still to me.

"You wish for the affection of a mother. The only thing that you could never have. Even though she always calls, gets your needs, you always hear her voice. She's never here to-"Theodore cut me.

"Stop it!" he argued.

"…to be here, at the times when you need a mother the most. Your stepmother is an arrogant, someone who doesn't give a shit about you, selfish, uncaring, a gold digger that your father married as soon as he was divorced." I concluded. Theodore turned around, and stormed toward me. He looked angry, his face red his eyes glowing flames. His jaw was flinching and his hands were clenching. He was taking shallow breath, but fast.

"I said stop it!" Theodore said through his teeth.

"And I intimidate you, dont I? And I know why? Because I remind you of who you are." I finished calmly. Theodore came down to his knees and closed his eyes. "You are the one who is emotionaly weak, afraid. Because you are not even strong enough to control your emotions at this momet, when you accuse me of being afraid, but as you can see, I am not cryng."

"You cannot imagine for how long I haven't heard from my mother."

"I can because I havn't heard from my father in six years." I said and Theodore looked up. He had surprise in his eyes.

"Six years? The longest I haven't talked to my mother was two years."

"Well you should count yourself lucky. And...I am really sorry about your mother."

"I'm sorry about your father."

"Don't."

"Why?"

"Because, I hate to see pity in peoples eyes. I hate to think someone anytime can use this against me."

"You know I wont."

"Actually, I don't." I said and Theodore sighed. He looked defeated, or maybe he was.

"Sometimes, your greatest weakness can be your strength."

"Yeah, I guess when you are a beggar. I mean you will need people to feel sorry for you so that you can, ask for money." I said and Theodore swung his head back and laughed. His eyes filled with tears but all I could do was just smile in surprise. After he stopped laughing I asked "So what is on your mind. Many boys have girls and girls have boys that fills their minds."

"It's compicated."

"But before we carry on, can you please get up. I really feel uncomfortable." I said and Theodore got on his feet. He went to the bed and sat by the drawer.. I opened the window and let the crispy wind fill my face.

"Complicated. Doing an essay on Macbeth, which you don't know nothing about but you still sit by the computer and write loads of words which at the end you notice its only a paragraph, is whats complicated." I smiled.

"Sarcasm?You're using sarcasm to ease the tension." Theodore raised his eybrows. "Smooth." he winked.

"Well, what would you use?"I asked and saw Theodore lay his left hand on the side of the drawer and hold his head with his hand. he took a deep breath and I closed my eyes.

"Hmm. I guess I just change the subject totally." Theodore nervously giggled.

"Like?" I asked with curiosity.

"Like...Puppies for example."

"Puppies? But what about ducks?" I asked with exhaustion running through every cell in my body. I was tired and sleepy.

"Ducks? Well yes I guess the is the best-"Theodore cut off. He was silent for a few minutes and I opened my eyes to see what he was doing. He held a yellow post-it paper in his hand. His eyes running through every line like a runner in a martathon. It was the note about the riddle my father said to me on the phone.

"Theodore?" I asked in worry. His eyes kept scanning the words over and over again. I tried to walk toward him but he held his free hand to stop me in my place. "Theodore, put the paper down!"

"I can't..."Theodore tried to say. He mumbled it as if he was dreaming.

"Theodore what the hell is going on? Could you please put the paper down? Now!" I said and Theodore raised his head. His eyes became lack as marble and he looked at me. I coulnd't place the look, but my gut told me if was bad.

"Where did you get this?" he said through his teeth. I realised the paper in his hand was crumbled into a ball, and his hands were clenching.

"It's mine, Theodore. Give it!"

"Why? It's not yours!" he stoop up abrutly.

"It's mine and its really important!" I exclaimed.

"No."

"What? What do you mean 'No'?"

"I don't know how you got a hold of this, but it was in my bedroom before I came here!"

"Wait, what? Someone else told you this riddle?" I felt the hairs on my arms rise. Sweat ran down my face. This felt like a dream. A bizarre dream that I wantd to wake up now.

"Tell me now, how did you get this." Theodore asked again, subbornly. He looked calm than before and he kept glancing at the picture on top of my drawer.

"I can't."

"Tell me now."

"How do you know about the note any way?"

"I asked you first!"

"I don't care who asked first, or last. Theodore, you must gasp that I didn't steal this from you." I said calmly to Theodre. This seemed to be working because his eyes became soft and his hands unclenched. He stared at me, in a way that made me feel better. He stared at me as he was pleased to find the note, and was also pleased that I was so calm.

"Im sorry. I should have known that was impossible."

"Thats fine, but this is freaking me out." I said and started to rub my temples. "I am afraid to ask you a question?"

"Why?"

"Because I think I know the answer already, and I just wish it wasn't reality but all a coincidence. Or even a dream."

"Try me."

"Okay." I said an dtook in a deep breath. "When did you get this call."

"It was at school, just before I called you." He said frowning. "Why?"

"What did they say exactly?" I asked feelinbg the hair on my arms rise up.

"She asked how I was doing and after I said I was fine, then after she said the roddle." Theodore said looking more confused.

"Who was it that called you?" I asked Theodore and turned to stare at the pale gray sky. The curtains danced with the wind. Theodore seemed to hesitate for a moment, but shugged and answered it.

"My mother." was all he said and he quietly sat down. We were both silent for a while, but it seemed as if centuries went by.

"When did you get the call?" Theodore follwed my lead, coming toward the conclusion of the truth. He knew where i was getting at but he wanted to be guranteed he had heard it not imagined it.

"I got it right before you called."

"What did they say to you?"

"How I was doing and when I said good, he said the riddle."

"Who was the caller?"

"My father."


End file.
